Rent a Girlfriend/Wife
Could this be a viable business?
Okay, first, get your mind out of the gutter. I’m not talking about prostitution! See, I’ve been sick the past couple of days and it would have been nice to have someone to make me soup and worry about me a bit. You know, someone to baby me the way a significant other is supposed to do. (Not that they do all the time, but, you know, in theory.) Maybe someone to help you clean up while you’re sick, too. Short term only, mind. Nothing longer than, say, a month.
Oh, and it would be perfect for that gay friend who’s family just won’t accept them as gay, or wouldn’t understand, or whatever. You could rent them a girlfriend for the holidays and spread a little faux Christmas cheer.
Somehow, I know this would backfire, but, yesterday, in my cold-medicine-induced surreality, it seemed like a good idea. We now return you to your regularly scheduled internet insanity.