Diary of a Network Geek

The trials and tribulations of a Certified Novell Engineer who's been stranded in Houston, Texas.

1/4/2005

Rent a Girlfriend/Wife

Filed under: Criticism, Marginalia, and Notes,Life, the Universe, and Everything,The Network Geek at Home — Posted by the Network Geek during the Hour of the Hare which is in the early morning or 7:25 am for you boring, normal people.
The moon is a Full Moon

Could this be a viable business?
Okay, first, get your mind out of the gutter. I’m not talking about prostitution! See, I’ve been sick the past couple of days and it would have been nice to have someone to make me soup and worry about me a bit. You know, someone to baby me the way a significant other is supposed to do. (Not that they do all the time, but, you know, in theory.) Maybe someone to help you clean up while you’re sick, too. Short term only, mind. Nothing longer than, say, a month.
Oh, and it would be perfect for that gay friend who’s family just won’t accept them as gay, or wouldn’t understand, or whatever. You could rent them a girlfriend for the holidays and spread a little faux Christmas cheer.

Somehow, I know this would backfire, but, yesterday, in my cold-medicine-induced surreality, it seemed like a good idea. We now return you to your regularly scheduled internet insanity.

3 Comments

  1. Based upon my experience with our gentle race, someone would always be trying to get more than they agreed to. “I know you’re only pretending to be my girlfriend so I don’t look like a total loser at the Christmas party, but I think it would be more convincing if…” you fill in the blank. You’d have to sign a waver 20 pages long…

    Comment by POL — 1/4/2005 @ 9:05 am

  2. Yeah, okay, so maybe not. Still, you have to admit that it would be an easy sell. Or, I could just pay for a maid. Might have a clean house for a change. Right now, cleaning the mess left behind by recent events is still a bit overwhelming. Still, when I feel better, I’ll get that done and then, for a change, maintain it.

    Comment by Network Geek — 1/4/2005 @ 9:20 am

  3. Oh man this would be so great. Of course this could have something to do with the fact that I’ve been sick the last 4 days with no “other” to dote on me. Which may also explain why I’m commenting on month old posts. If only I had someone to run and get me some orange juice!

    Comment by laanba — 2/19/2005 @ 5:57 pm

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