Long Distance Courage
If I had a dime for every empty threat…
You know, I get all kinds of messages from all kinds of people on the internet. Some nice, some, well, not so nice. And, frankly, the not-so-nice ones always make me shake my head in wonder. People say things in e-mail or on websites that they’d never have the courage to say in person. I’ve been called all sorts of fun and inventive names by people that would wet themselves if they ever had to confront me face-to-face. Mind, I’m not an imposing guy, really. In fact, I’m a cream puff. But, as I learned from both my father and a former drill-sargent, it’s all attitude. Well, that and a little voice-training combined with some genetic benefits. (Thanks, Dad!) So, yeah, if it comes to a shouting match, I can pretty well deafen most loudmouths. But, that’s not what I mean, really. I mean most of these fine internet folks wouldn’t dare look me in the eye and call me any name for any reason. Normal people don’t like that kind of person-to-person confrontation. So, why would they say it on-line? Do they really think that I’ll be scared or something? Impressed maybe? Honestly, I can’t fathom it. And, lately, I’ve seen a bunch of it on e-mail lists that I participate in (on?). Of course, after the short tempers there are almost never apologies, either. Even when the loudmouth has been proved quite conclusively wrong.
I’ve had guys who were losing a debate with me on-line say that they’d trounce me in person. All I can say to that is, “Uh, Sparky, if you can’t think things through and reason out a good argument via e-mail, which moves at the pace you set and allows you to revise before you hit ‘send’, what makes you think you can keep up with me in person?” In fact, I’m fairly well known for my ability to reason quickly and well. A skill, incidentally, that I’ve paid attention to and worked on for years. The ability to present a clear and reasoned argument in support of a position is essential to survival in a business environment, not to mention a marriage. Sure, the rules are different, but the skill is no less important.
So, what is it about the long distance medium that makes every social reject with a keyboard think they’re Clarrence Darrow or Mike Tyson? I can’t imagine what special kind of inferiority complex makes these jokers tick. Personally, I do my best to only write things that I’d say in person. Why? Because, you never know what you’ll have to defend, in person or in court, later.
There’s a little something to think about, eh? So, here’s a little advice from your Uncle Jim. Think twice before you hit “send”. If you wouldn’t say what you’ve written in person to the recipient, don’t send it.
Advice from your Uncle Jim:
"Swing hard, in case they throw the ball where you're swinging."
--Duke Snider
Sitting on one’s email hands is a lesson everyone must painfully learn for themselves.
Comment by Mark — 7/20/2005 @ 6:19 am
Anonymity can be intoxicating to a lot of people. My granny always told me to live my life as if someone was watching me. Would I alter my behavior if I knew someone was watching? If I answer “Yes”, then I probably shouldn’t be doing it.
So, Uncle Jim, If I met you face to face this very day, I would STILL suggest that your waterfall be made to look like the Master Cylinder. It is truly worth serious consideration.
Comment by MightyKong! — 7/20/2005 @ 9:51 am
🙂 Yes, well, that project is temporarily on hold while I gather materials and wait out the storms which we’ll see when that pesky hurricane hits land.
BTW, what got me thinking about this was a repeat of a dustup on a particular e-mail list. Seems to happen about twice a year on this particular list. Same people, too. Time to unsubscribe from the list, I think.
Comment by the Network Geek — 7/20/2005 @ 10:26 am
I’m reminded of the often quoted story about Harry S. Truman. In the days before instant communication, when he would get angry at someone, he’d dash off the angry retort, address it, and stick it in his desk drawer. Waiting a week, he’d retrieve the letter, open and read it, tear it up and write the letter he would then send.
Comment by D. Phillips — 7/21/2005 @ 6:00 am
Oddly enough, I was thinking more along the lines of:
“In times like the present, men should utter nothing for which they would not willingly be responsible through time and eternity.”
–Abraham Lincoln
Comment by the Network Geek — 7/21/2005 @ 11:19 am