Holy Polysorbate 80, Batman!
Scripture candy and health food?
Oh, you have got to be kidding me! This is no joke, not only is there “Scripture Candy“, but Bible Bars. I can NOT make this stuff up. Now, I’m a fairly spiritual guy and have started attending church on a regular basis again, but, really, I think this is going a little far. Granted, those health-food engergy bars that are based on Bibilical foods are interesting, but are they any better than anything else I might get from Whole Foods? I mean, all-natural and organic energy bars are all about the same to me. Besides, I don’t see any milk-and-honey-and-locust bars there. That is, after all, what John the Baptist was famous for eating, as I recall: honey and locusts. Sure, they’re technically kosher, but, ugh.
Anyway, Christmas is just around the corner, so you might think about these for stocking stuffers.
Aw, c’mon, it’s Friday and you’ve got nothing better to do than read my blog and click the link, so just give in and do it.
Uggh. Testamints? I’m sure there’s some stipulation in Leviticus about punishing those who pun too much. Bible bars? I consider myself a Christian, but this is rediculous. I’m sure a Clif’s bar is at least as healthy and pleasing in the eyes of God. Reminds me of something else I saw on the net:
“Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27. How should they die?”
I think living life according to Deuteronomy and Leviticus is sooo B.C.
-pm
Comment by Paul — 11/11/2005 @ 12:50 pm
Perhaps their intentions were good but it’s just wrong to suck on or lick scripture.
Comment by sass — 11/11/2005 @ 3:47 pm
I’m still waiting for the Honey-and-Locust flavored Bible Bar. Sweet, crunchy *and* Biblical! How can you go wrong?!
Hmm, now I’m picturing “Song of Solomon” Christian marital “aids”. How deliciously creepy!
Comment by the Network Geek — 11/11/2005 @ 4:04 pm
LOL! Too funny there…what about Bathsheeba Lingerie…this would seem impossible, but I know someone who’s parents got into Christian swinging. The father was a pastor in the town I grew up in, too. Thinking back, I went to a service once and he spoke on the beauty of sex…
Comment by Paul — 11/11/2005 @ 5:28 pm