Diary of a Network Geek

A funny thing happened in the drug store.
So, I made a run to Walgreens today, to get some stuff I forgot last night. Mousse and Carmex and, since I saw it, a digital scale with that body-fat calculator thing built in. If I’m going to make all my New Year’s resolutions happen, I’m going to need that. Anyway, one of the quirky things I do is walk through the magazine aisle and check to see what the average Gulf Coast Walgreens customer is reading these days. I especially like looking at the “Best Seller” rack to see what trashy paperbacks are popular with what I think of as the “least common denominator” of the reading community. Freakishly, what I found today was Gone With the Nerd. This is not a joke. This is an actual book that actually sells somewhere to someone. What’s more, it’s part of a series. Yeah, your eyes are not playing tricks on you, there is a series of books about nerd romance. In fact, go to the link above and read the reviews. Pay special attention to the one that’s titled “Nerd Served Hot & Spicy”.
So, what? Is the “nerd” the new, hot romantic hero? If so, how is it that I’ve missed this startling phenomena? As a Geek, do I qualify? Is there a form to fill out somewhere? A waiver to sign? In short, what’s a guy gotta’ do to capitalize on this exciting new trend?

Okay, all joking aside, this struck me as both funny and, well, okay, pretty much it was just funny to me. I was called a nerd most of my school life. At the time, it was kind of hard to take, but, after a while, I just stopped caring. Oh, sure, I still have those moments when I question who and what I am. Whether or not I’m “man” enough. What’s missing from my life, or what I should be doing to fulfill my “role” as a male in society. Well, here’s the thing, I’ve done it and continue to do it. Every day I go into the office and work a job I don’t get too excited about anymore because it pays the bills, I show that I’m man “enough”. Every time I hold a door for a woman I don’t know and will never know, I’m being a grown-up man. Every time I try to explain to my nephews to always treat girls nice, no matter how they treat you, I’m showing the world that I’m the kind of man I want to be.
I stopped going to strip clubs just before I met my ex-wife, not because I’d met someone I didn’t want to embarass, but because of that poor girl who was looking to me for validation after dancing for me. All she wanted wast to be loved, to feel appreciated, and all I did was tip her. Pretty low, isn’t it? Yeah, that’s what I thought, too. So, this geek, this nerd, stopped going because I didn’t want to see a woman who wanted that kind of validation. What’s more, I didn’t want to be the kind of guy who had to go to those places to get validation for cash myself. Better to be alone and know that I was living my life the right way and be able to look myself in the mirror than that. I’m still working on looking myself in the mirror and believing that I’m good enough, but, at least I’m closer than I was.
Yeah, I’m a geek or a nerd or whatever you want to label me. But, I’m more than that, too. Maybe I could be doing better financially than I am. Maybe my job could be more interesting or exciting. Maybe I could be driving a bigger, better car or have a bigger, fancier house. Maybe my clothes aren’t lined with designer labels or aren’t imported from Italy or where ever is fashionable this season. Sure, there are others who are doing that stuff better than I do. But, I’m fairly literate. I’m loyal to a fault. I’m fairly healthy and working on being healthier. I’m rebuilding my spiritual life. I take good care of my dog and try to help my friends any way I can. And, I care. I care about people. People I know and people I don’t. I don’t know what I am, exactlly, but I’m working on making myself better everyday. And, whatever that is, it’s good enough for me.