Are You For Real?
“Do you really read this stuff or just put it out on the coffee table?”
“Who are you? Are you for real? Really for real?”
One way or another, people are always asking me that about the “me” they see on my blog. Not everyone is quite as lighthearted as the two people I’ve quoted here, but, sooner or later, everyone who’s never met me in person asks.
I started to write a long piece about all the things I am, with links to old posts so readers could track back and find all the other very self-involved things I’ve said in past posts, but, well, that seemed a little pointless after I got rolling on it. The best way to find out about me is to use that “search” function on the right-hand side of the page. Want to hear my voice? Search for “voice” or “my voice” and you’ll find samples. Want to see pictures? Search for “pictures” and you’ll see me, my dog, my home, and even my parents. Or, you can click on the category links. They all work and will show an archive of all the things in that category. Want to see my pathetic attempts to get out of my shell and meet datable women? Click on the Bavarian Death Cake of Love archive. Want to see the books I’ve read recently? Try the Review archive or the Things To Read archive. (That’s what the first person was asking about. The crazy things I read.) To see more about my attempts at art, digital or literary, you have to hit my other, almost dead, blog, Fantasist’s Scroll. (That’s what the second person was asking about. Considering how much of a hard-core geek I am in the corporate world, I guess they had a hard time getting their head around the concept that I might do any kind of art.)
I’ve had friends who told me that I’m so honest on this blog that it occasionally makes them wince. And, I have tried to be as honest as I possibly can be here, keeping in mind that potential employers and dates will no doubt read it.
The thing is, though, that all you see when you read this blog is one, very limited, point of view: mine. And, if nothing else has been proven out by my personal history it’s the fact that I do not see myself either clearly or the way others see me. I am, for instance, my own worst critic. But, this is such a flat medium. As I’ve mentioned before, you can’t hear my voice or see the expression on my face or “feel” my timing on a joke. This blog is just one small window into who I am. A door that’s open just a crack. In person, you can walk around me and rattle other windows, or try the latch, or jiggle the handle on the doors to see if they’re unlocked. Whatever you think I am based on this blog, you’re wrong. You’re only getting one, small picture of what my life is like. The picture you get of me in person is very different. At least, I hope it is.
So, yes, I’m real. I’m as real as I know how to be, in person or via print. But, there’s more to me than you see here. If you know where to look.
