Network Geek v1.9B
“We can rebuild him…”
Okay, so a couple of weeks ago, I totally ruined several of my favorite shirts with an accidental, but shockingly liberal, splash of bleach. Now, I have several trippy, neo-tiedie shirts that are no longer okay to wear to work. So, I’m going to have to get more. And, that got me thinking…
At least one of my sisters has always implied that I don’t know how to dress and, frankly, I often feel tragically unhip or out of step with good fashion sense. I mean, I am a professional geek, after all. But, I want to dress nicer. More attractively. And, since I have such a large female readership these days, I thought I’d give you all the opportunity to remake me. Dress me the way you think I should be dressed. Make me look the way you think I would look best. Clothe me from the skin out. Start me fresh.
But, first, a few caveats:
1. I will not wear silk underwear. Or thongs. Or “tighty whities”. Or… Okay, look, I’m a basic, cotton boxers sort of guy. Let’s just start there, okay? So, maybe not from the skin out, but at least, from the skivvies out. Okay?
2. I am “poor folk”. If you suggest designers, please suggest low-cost alternatives. Or, understand that I won’t be able to go all out on that particular suggestion. In short, let’s try not to bankrupt the Network Geek, okay?
3. I’m a pretty casual guy, even for work.
4. Yes, you can rebuild my work wardrobe, too, but, remember casual is the key. Though, dressing a little better there, too, wouldn’t hurt.
5. All my footwear is black. ALL of it. UPDATE: Okay, not quite all, but all my work/date footwear is black.
6. Extra weight will be given to the opinions of single women. Especially single women who know and/or might date me. No offense guys, but, hey, I have goals and priorities, too.
7. Let’s start with the non-work wardrobe and give that the most emphasis. My goal here is to be more dateable and less alone. If I find a steady girl, she’ll be dressing me from then on out, but until then, I admit it, I need all the help I can get.
8. I will not make fun of or overly critisize any choices made, but I may attempt to steer things away from things I know I will not ever wear.
9. I’m serious about this, so, please, be serious, too. Really. I know you ladies can make me look better than I do now and I sincerely want to look better.
I’m working out to try and lose some weight and build more muscle, so, make me your living, breathing Ken doll and have fun. Keep it clean. Also, if you’d like to keep your suggestions private for whatever reason, feel free to e-mail me.
Here’s what you have to work with:
(And, special thanks to Doc, my roommate, for taking these pictures this weekend for me.)
Other pictures can be found here, too.
Even your running shoes are black? Start right there.
You’re 37 not 73.
Comment by Deirdre — 2/20/2006 @ 10:49 am
Okay, you got me. First, I don’t really have running shoes. And, second, I do have like Keds which are white. Hmm, come to think of it, maybe I do need some running shoes…
Comment by the Network Geek — 2/20/2006 @ 10:51 am
Keds are for kids. Shop here: REI Men’s Footwear
Comment by Deirdre — 2/20/2006 @ 11:03 am
Well, I was thinking more along these lines:
Academy Men’s Cross Trainers
But, I’ll defer to the ladies on this…
Comment by the Network Geek — 2/20/2006 @ 11:25 am
Ok, the first thing you need to realize is that those pictures are not sufficient information. Yes, the Lord has blessed you with a lovely smile and good bone structure, but if we’re talking strictly shallow fashion, I need to see: your shoes, your belts, the cut and color of your jeans.
Comment by Jill — 2/20/2006 @ 2:46 pm
Gah! See? I told you all I need help! When I get home, I’ll update this with full-length pictures. At least one.
Comment by the Network Geek — 2/20/2006 @ 2:51 pm
I didn’t cook the gumbo… and Cinderella’s slippers put out a different message than my own. So to speak. 😉
Comment by Alison — 2/20/2006 @ 3:40 pm
And I’m with Deirdre on the shoes. The sneakers you were looking at should only be worn to exercise. You can develop a very casual look for work that is not expensive but is updated. Incidentally, I have experience in making over Network Geeks.
Comment by Jill — 2/20/2006 @ 4:45 pm
Your qualifications have been duly noted and already factored into the weight given your reccomendations. 😉 And, actually, that applies to the both of you!
Comment by the Network Geek — 2/20/2006 @ 4:48 pm
Repeat after me:
Polo shirts shall never be buttoned all the way to the top.
You might also want to consider Earth Tones. Purple is, well…
(I say this from having scene your previously posted picture)
Thanks for your support Jill!
Comment by Deirdre — 2/20/2006 @ 5:27 pm
Okay, that pic is about as good as I can do on short notice for a full length shot. I also have black jeans that fit about the same. In additon to the boots in that picture, I have Sketchers “Scholars” which are also black. For a dressier, but still casual look, I have Tony Lama boots. I also have a pair of Cole Haan and Florsheim wingtips for something dressier. I’m convinced these can be made to work with jeans.
Really a big deal about the shirt thing? Never would’ve guessed, but, okay, you ladies are the boss of me now. (Don’t let it go to your heads!)
Comment by the Network Geek — 2/20/2006 @ 6:39 pm
What the hell do you keep in those bulging pockets of yours? That can’t possibly just be your hand.
Comment by Deirdre — 2/20/2006 @ 7:34 pm
Well, the jeans are a little baggy, but I have a lighter and a Leatherman Micra in that left, front pocket. The rest is, well, let’s just say it’s not a roll of quarters.
And, perhaps now is a good time to mention that I’m open to trying new jeans. These happen to be Eddie Bauer jeans, but I’m also quite comfortable in Lee, etc. Just remember, I’m the guy who was told by one of the girls at the front desk of the hotel I worked at that I “had a big old booty for a white boy”. (I had to ask if that was a good thing or not. Verdict: Good thing.)
Comment by the Network Geek — 2/20/2006 @ 7:46 pm
Oh, yeah, that left, front also has a set of small prayer beads and a Bluetooth headset. And, no, the lighter does NOT mean I’m smoking again. I’ve carried a lighter since college, even when not smoking, just in case.
Comment by the Network Geek — 2/21/2006 @ 11:16 am