Inch By Inch
I threw out six more bags of junk this weekend.
Six bags of old makeup and burnt out curling irons and makeup and old perfume samplers and makeup. I have never seen so much old, useless, half-used makeup in my entire life. I imagine that must be what it looks like when a cosmetic department gets a stomach virus and vomits pastel and earth-tone pencils, powders, tubes and brushes. Dozens upon dozens of lipsticks alone… I felt like I’d been rummaging through a drag queen’s refuse. Oh, and, of course, I found even more shoes! But, I regained another few cubic inches of my house. Little by little, sometimes in volumes so small as to be barely noticeable, I’m regaining my house, my home, myself.
I also worked outside for a few hours this weekend. Raking some of the dead, matted grass in part of my back yard and seeding the front where I let so much grass die that the neighbors asked about it. Mainly, last year, I was just so depressed that I didn’t care, so lots of plants died in my yard. Now, though, as I come back to life, so does the greenery around me. I still have a lot more to do, of course, but, it’s started turning around.
It’s funny, but this all seemed so overwhelming not too long ago, but, then, something changed. Something inside me shifted, adjusted, rearranged and I felt motivated, almost required, to start moving on this stuff. As a friend says, change is inevitable, but my direction is optional. So, I just started in on it, working a little at a time, until there’s enough change that I feel better about, well, about everything. I try to remind myself that I don’t need to change everything at once, though I still try to do that. As my mother would say, “Inch by inch, life a cinch. Mile by mile, life’s a trial.” So, inch by inch, I’m reinventing myself and gaining my life back.
Advice from your Uncle Jim:
"It's better to keep one's mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and resolve all doubt."
--Abraham Lincoln
