The Right Bait
When I was in college, I learned a lot of unexpected things.
For instance, we had this pond on campus that was stocked with all kinds of fish by the Federal Game and Wildlife Administration. I mean, this little pond had some of the best looking rainbow trout that you’d ever want to see and the campus let you fish there, assuming you had the proper state license and all. Well, I used to walk around this pond, which was out the back door of my dorm, any time I needed to clear my head, or mull things over, or just get away from my roommate for a few minutes. A lot of the time, there were people fishing there, but very few ever pulled anything out. Then, one night, right at dusk, I see a guy pulling fish out almost as fast as he can bait his hook and drop his line. It was incredible! In the space of fifteen minutes, I watched this guy pull at least five fish out of that pond! At least half of them were keepers, too. So, my curiosity getting the better of me, I finally introduced myself and asked how he did it. He looked around to make sure no one else could see and then reached into his tackle box. When he stood up, he had a little can of Green Giant Sweet Corn Nibblets. And, as he explained that the fish came from hatcheries where they were corn fed, he poured some of the sweet juice into the water by the bridge we were standing on, then baited his hook with a few kernels of corn. Sure enough, by the time he was dropping his line in, there were already fish coming up to the surface to look for corn. So, it just goes to show you, if you want nibbles, all you have to do is use the right bait.
So, toward that end, I’m trying to “improve” myself. I’ve been working on my spiritual side for the past year, at least. (Whoa, that sounds so hippy and new-agey!) I’m working on my wardrobe, too. My plan is to buy a few new shirts, or pants, or whatever, each month until I have a new, updated wardrobe. Not too big a departure, of course, but newer, hopefully higher quality, and, for a change, some clothes that fit right. You may notice the survey to the right, about new jeans. Please, feel free to vote on what you’d like to see me get. I rely on my now mostly female readership to keep me stylish. It’s a big job, so, I can’t expect one poor soul to be saddled with that thankless task. I’ll have more of these surveys as time goes on. Please, feel free to participate, but don’t feel any pressure. I’m also working on getting back into shape. (Yes, I was in pretty damn good shape once!) After I get the Room From Hell cleaned up and emptied out, I’ll make it into a workout space. I’m especially looking forward to hitting my heavy bag again. Nothing takes the weight off faster, or makes me leaner, than the old boxing workout. It’s also good practice for a very valuable life skill! I’m also going to take up walking, at least, if not try running. I’m not sure my knees are up to it, honestly, as I have bad genes for a distance runner. Good genes for a sprinter, ironically, but bad genes for distance. In any case, towards that end, last night, I bought $94 running shoes for $31.27. Thanks REI! A closeout shoe, combined with a 20% off coupon, combined with an unexpected dividend because I’ve been a member of the “Collective” since 1994, or so, made me a very happy man. Sometimes, God does smile on me!
Now, what’s that all got to do with bait? Well, I’m trying to date again, so, you figure it out!
