Diary of a Network Geek

No, not the traditional dangers.

Most outsourcing is done to countries other than our own. At the moment, the majority of our outsourcing goes to either India or the Pacific Rim. (For those of you who don’t follow this sort of thing, the Phillipines seem to be the next “hot” market, sucking away significant portions of India’s outsourcing revenue.) Sure, the prices are right and, depending on the type of outsourcing, the work might even be comprable to what you’d get in the States, but what about the other dangers? When was the last time we had a tsunami? And how long has it been since we had a major bombing here in the States? Now, I’m sure some of the people who stumble across this blog searching for information about outsourcing to India or the Phillipines or where have you will call me a racist. I’ve been called that before when I said I thought American companies should give American workers jobs before sending them offshore. But, I promise you, nothing could be further from the truth.

Still, I find myself remembering the mortgage company I worked for when I first came to Houston. We employed a small town in the rural United States to be our phone center. That job could have easily been sent offshore to an outsourcing company in Mumbai or New Dheli or Manila. But, it turns out that it was just as cost-effective to employ American workers. Also, we never had a complaint that our customers couldn’t understand our phone center workers. Now, keep in mind, I’m just being realistic here. Not everyone who speaks English as a second language has an impeniterable accent, nor is being a native speaker any guarantee, either. But, that little town was safe. No worries about things like tidal waves or bombings or coups or even hurricanes. Even blizzards didn’t stop them, though they did slow down a little the times they got hit with that. Still, they were safer from a disaster than we were in Houston and still enjoyed the comfort of knowing that the United States was a stable government who kept the peace in their own borders. Yes, we’ve had our share of tragedy, but, mainly, we’re a safe place to live and work. Safer than most of the world, really.

So, tell me again, how is this outsourcing, offshoring thing such a good deal?

So, after more several weeks of increasing tension and decreasing communication, LK (aka Ms. NewGal aka the Pie Lady) and I aren’t dating. Naturally, I blame myself. I know how I am and I am the first to admit that I am no picnic, no walk in the park. Maybe I just wasn’t quite ready. Maybe I just need some “alone time”. Hell, maybe I’m just meant to be alone the rest of my life. Just me and my Hilda. Well, maybe that’s a little extreme, but probably the best in the short run. Long enough to throw out more of my ex-wife’s junk at least. I’m sure that must have grated on poor LK even more than she let on. Hey, it grates on me that I have to deal with all the junk left behind by a couple of worse packrats than me. And, even that wouldn’t be bad if not for the fact that virtually everything was a reminder of how I failed there, too.Oh, I know it wasn’t all my fault. It takes two to tango and all those platitudes, but I always blame myself. After all, I’m the one thing that’s consistent between all my relationships. Sure, some of it was bad timing and a couple of rough weeks, but some of it was just the way we interacted. And, yes, maybe I am more angry than I realize. It’s not hard to point to sources of that anger, either. They’re all over my house. I know I’m sort of harping on it now, but it’s really hard for people who haven’t seen it to fathom the volume of junk I have to wade through. 95% of it, of course, is someone else’s junk, too. The detrius of an old life left behind like a snake shedding its skin. All for me to deal with. Alone.

And, there it is. That word. “Alone”. Again. And again and again. Or, perhaps, still. And, that, I know, is my fault. Never really letting anyone in because if I do, I know they won’t like what they see. As is partially born out by this particular personal tragedy. A sadly self-fullfilling prophecy. I guess the question for my therapist now is “why?” Why should I have internalized the belief that I’m not good enough when bottom-feeding scum who cheat on their spouses and have jobs only because their parents have connections feel so good about themselves? Certainly, until I answer that question, I’m not really ready to be out dating, am I?

Well, at least answering that question, in part or in whole, will give me time to clean my house the rest of the way and lose some weight and just generally improve myself.

Advice from your Uncle Jim:
"Sometimes someone says something really small and it just fits into this empty place in your heart."
   --Angela, "My So-Called Life"