Craving
Oh, crap I have been craving a cigarette for days now.
I want to smoke the way a lemming wants to jump off a cliff in a Disney nature film.
Gah! I know they’re bad for me, that they’re slowly killing me. I know that they make me look stupid. I know that they turn off women who might otherwise see me as a potential mate. I know! But, damn, a nice kretek would taste so nice right now. I know just where to get my favorites, too, Djarum “red”.
Wow, that reminds me of something I saw carved into a desk when I was in college:
“God, save me from what I want!”
Stay strong. It won’t make anything any better. It won’t take away any of the pain and self loathing, any of the fear or lonliness. It won’t change what’s happened or make it feal any better. Stay strong, for you.
Comment by Cheri — 7/19/2006 @ 3:50 pm
No, but it would take the edge off and help me sleep.
Still, better not to start down that twisty trek again and stay clean. Still, I do want a smoke badly. I’d best hit the exercise and vitamins tonight when I get home, to help me take my mind off it.
Also, a little Scotch might ease the pain. 😉
Comment by the Network Geek — 7/19/2006 @ 4:05 pm
Hang in there, NG~! I know what it is like… have you found a ‘substitute addiction’ yet? The thing I tried was chewing Liquorice — I would not recommend it. All that did was give me splinters in my lips, tongue and palate.
Think I’ll join you and have some Islay. Cheers, lad.
Comment by Kaye — 7/23/2006 @ 3:21 pm