Diary of a Network Geek

The trials and tribulations of a Certified Novell Engineer who's been stranded in Houston, Texas.

10/1/2005

Beard or Not To Beard?

Filed under: Deep Thoughts,Life, the Universe, and Everything,Personal — Posted by the Network Geek during the Hour of the Sheep which is mid-afternoon or 3:52 pm for you boring, normal people.
The moon is Waning Gibbous

Hmm, that is the question.
Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer the razor burn of a goatee or simply maintain the facial-hair status quo. I am uncertain. I’ve worn this full beard since before I moved down here from Chicago, with a brief time out for a job some time back, and I’ve grown to like it. However, I think it adds years to my face. People see me with the full, gray beard and add ten to twenty years to my actual age. When I was married, I didn’t care, but if I ask a nice lady out and am denied based on an incorrectly percieved age, ah, that would be quite a tragedy. So, I’m debating it. If I weren’t late for church already, I’d post pictures appropriately altered to show the two states and solicit opinions from my throngs of eager readers. (Hey, my ex-wife might even chime in, as I’m almost positive that she still obsessively watches my site.)
Well, maybe I’ll pray about… Or, post the pictures after I get back from church.

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9/20/2005

Forecast: Very Bad

Filed under: Advice from your Uncle Jim,Art,Calamity, Cataclysm, and Catastrophe,Deep Thoughts,Dog and Pony Shows,Fun,Geek Work,Life, the Universe, and Everything,News and Current Events,Personal,The Network Geek at Home — Posted by the Network Geek during the Hour of the Rooster which is in the early evening or 6:01 pm for you boring, normal people.
The moon is Waning Gibbous

I don’t like hurricanes.
Or tropical storms. Honestly, if I didn’t know that every generation since the crucifixion has thought so, I’d say the end times were nigh! Look at it from a Yankee’s perspective. You already have giant, flying bugs. Up North, we made a pact with God that such things were not to happen. We’d stop the human sacrifice, if He’d stop making bugs over six inches that fly. Then, there’s the weather… Sure, up North we have to deal with the odd blizzard, but that’s a walk in the park compared to this hurricane/tropical storm business.
I mean, my life was hard enough when Katrina hit one state over, so I can’t hardly imagine what it’s going to be like when this Rita bitch makes landfall. Have you ever noticed that they always name these things after women? As a recently divorced man, I felt the obligation to point that out.
Anyway, here I am, still exhausted from the last two weeks of horrendous work as a result of “adapting” to Katrina fallout and now, I have to worry about Rita. Oh, and someone told me today that our building tends to flood. I have five comuters on the floor of my cube alone. Oh, I think this is going to be messy. And, yesterday, when I went to the store, there was hardly any water left. People are already starting to panic. Not good. Very not good. Suddenly, sunny Houston seems dark, dismal and dangerous. Very, very not good.

And, what if I have to make a run for it? Where will I go? How will I cope with that and my precious, little dog, too? I know I should be doing “stuff” to prepare, but, honestly, in the face of something this big, what can I do? Hoard water, canned food and batteries. Pray. But, really, that’s about it.
Wow, winter in Chicago sure seems nice right about now.

On a lighter note, I was invited to an opening today. Friday, a friend of mine, Mark Flood (Warning! This site may contain adult images!), is showing his art at the Glassell School on Montrose. This is, I believe, his first exhibit as a full-time artist, though he’s been selling art for more than a decade. Gosh, I’ll have to wear black and go buy some clove cigarettes!


Advice from your Uncle Jim:
"It is a mistake to look too far ahead. Only one link of the chain of destiny can be handled at a time."
   --Winston Churchill

9/4/2005

Cigarettes, Whiskey and Wild, Wild Women

Filed under: Advice from your Uncle Jim,Criticism, Marginalia, and Notes,Deep Thoughts,Fun,Life, the Universe, and Everything,Personal,The Network Geek at Home — Posted by the Network Geek during the Hour of the Horse which is around lunchtime or 12:47 pm for you boring, normal people.
The moon is Waning Gibbous

No, I’ll not be extolling their virtues!
I know, I know, I shouldn’t drink, smoke, curse or get “frisky” with loose women. Well, I’m working on it, friends. I am working on it. So far, I’ve done pretty with avoiding the wild women, though, honestly, I’m not sure how much longer I’ll hold out. When they’re so darn good looking and aggressive, it’s hard to resist!
I promise I’ll only drink in moderation, for a change and when the smokes run out, I won’t buy more, for at least nine years. My poor Uncle Chuck, who’s “Deacon for Life” in his Baptist church on the Southside of Chicago would be horrified, I know. Or, perhaps, he’d be secretly envious. He’s hard to read sometimes. Either way, he’d give me the dispairing looks in public, good friends, and loudly disapprove. Certainly, my dear, departed Grandmother would have scolded me mightily. Probably even whacked me with her cane, if I know the hard-nosed Kraut. Then, of course, baked me cookies or suet pudding. (Hey, it’s a family tradition! Back off!)
So, lest you think I heartily endorse these sins of the flesh, I give you…

Cigarettes, Whiskey and Wild, Wild Women
by Tim Spencer, 1947

Dear Friends: A little warning never did anybody any harm, and there are manifold temptations in this world, all of which you would do well to avoid. So let’s sit down and sing together, and learn a little bit about life from the mistakes of a poor sinner who has seen the error of his ways…

(spoken)
A preachment, dear friends, you’re about to receive,
on John Barleycorn, nicotine, and the temptations of Eve…

(sung)
I once was happy and I had a good life
I had enough money to last me for life
I met with a gal and we went on a spree
She taught me to smoke and to drink whiskey.

Refrain:
Cigareets and whuskey and wild wild wimmin
They’ll drive you crazy they’ll drive you insane.
Cigareets and whuskey and wild wild wimmin
They’ll drive you crazy they’ll drive you insane.

Cigareets is a blot on the whole human race.
A man is a monkey with one in his face.
That’s my definition, believe me dear brother,
A fire on one end and a fool on the t’other.

Refrain

Write on the cross at the head of my grave
“To wimmin and whuskey here lies a poor slave”.
Take warning dear stranger, take warning dear friend,
They’ll write in big letters these words at my end:

Cigareets and whuskey and wild wild wimmin
They’ll drive you crazy they’ll drive you insane.
Cigareets and whuskey and wild wild wimmin
They’ll drive you crazy they’ll drive you insane.
They’ll drive you crazy they’ll drive you insane.
Hallelujah brother!


Advice from your Uncle Jim:
"You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years of trying to get other people interested in you."
   --Dale Carnegie

7/4/2005

“It’s not who I am underneath,…”

Filed under: Art,Criticism, Marginalia, and Notes,Deep Thoughts,Fun,Life, the Universe, and Everything,Review — Posted by the Network Geek during the Hour of the Dragon which is in the early morning or 8:27 am for you boring, normal people.
The moon is Waning Gibbous

“… but what I do, that defines me.”

A great quote from a great movie. In other words, yes, I saw “Batman Begins” yesterday. I took a giant step outside my comfort zone and went at the absolute last minute to see a movie with a guy from a support group I attend. A guy who, honestly, I hardly know, though I’ve seen him at these meetings for years.
Anyway, it was a good movie. The fight scenes were done in that new, modern style that I think of as “Gladiator-esque” ever since seeing that movie. It was all a blur. Shapes whirling through the darkness and chaos everywhere. Not unlike a real fight, if memory serves, but a little annoying in cinema. I much prefer the older style where I don’t get motion sickness trying to follow the action.
The movie, of course, is about the origins of Batman, as the title implies. Slightly different than the comic book, he delves into the criminal underworld, and then is recruited by a kind of ninja/assassin’s guild/secret society designed to “fight” evil by totally destroying it. A sort of hyper-radical scorched-earth policy that also would wipe out the innocent as well. Not good. Obviously, Batman doesn’t stay a part of this group and, well, plot ensues from there.
It had a bit of a slow start, as origin stories often do, but once it got rockin’ and rollin’, it was a good, old-fashioned action movie ride.
There was one small continuity problem from the first movie that just leapt out at me. Who killed Bruce’s parents? In the first movie, of course, it was Joker, before he was Joker. In this movie, it was some other guy named “Joe Chill”. Also, Joker wasn’t Joker but still Jack Napier. He didn’t become the Joker until after Batman and he fought in the nasty chemical plant, just like in the comic book. But, that in no way diminished my enjoyment of an otherwise brilliant film.
Also, Liam Neeson, Michael Caine and Gary Oldman gave brilliant performances. Christian Bale was top notch as the angry, young millionare who became a crimefighter. And, all I can say about Katie Holmes performance is, er, it must be cold in Gotham. Or were those just some pesky Thetans in her blouse trying to poke their way out?
Oh, that reminds me… Gotham, though it was supposed to be a slightly fictionalized New York City, was Chicago. I recognized the bridges across the river, especially the Lake Shore Drive bridge right there at Wacker. I can’t tell you how many times I drove over that when I worked downtown. And, there were scenes that could only be Lower Lower Wacker. I know them, too. All too well. I also saw an altered Wrigley Builiding and the Tribune Tower, remade, if I’m not mistaken, into the Wayne Tower. Yep, it was all scenery that I knew quite intimately, though it’s no longer really home.

I have to admit, I liked this movie in part for the scenery and for the writing. It was a well written movie. I especially liked the quote, which was bounced back and forth between Wayne and his erstwhile paramour, Rachel Dawes, “It’s not who I am underneath, but what I do, that defines me.” Indeed, I sympathize with that sentiment and always have. I identify with the dark heroes, who have that wild animal that they fear to release, but try to harness to do good. In my more arrogant moments, I allow myself to feel as though I’m one of them.
I am more than my Flaw. I acknowlege that at the heart of who I am, I am a flawed human being, but that flaw does not define me. What I do consistently defines me. And, I consistently act in accordance with my beliefs about what’s right, not the way my Flaw would dictate. I haven’t always, but I’m better than that, now.

Yeah, it’s worth getting out to see “Batman Begins“. Happy Independance Day.

6/15/2005

Reflections on Carpet-Bagging

Filed under: Advice from your Uncle Jim,Deep Thoughts,Dog and Pony Shows,Life, the Universe, and Everything,On The Road,Personal — Posted by the Network Geek during the Hour of the Hare which is in the early morning or 7:11 am for you boring, normal people.
The moon is Waning Gibbous

This month is my seventh “carpet-bagging” anniversary.
Seven years ago this month, I moved down here from the North Suburbs of Chicago. Love was in the air and so were the crop-dusters. And, to make things worse, my car’s air-conditioning was broken. What a hellish ride that was! I shipped most of my stuff, but I loaded my precious computer into the back of my Tracker, piled clothes on it, and got my future ex-wife settled in next to me, then headed off at break-neck speed.
Until we hit traffic going through Chicago, that is. It was dark by the time we stopped somewhere outside of Nashville. We stayed at a little “NoTell Motel” that the AAA guide had given three stars. All I can say was, I was glad I brought my own toilet-paper, just in case. (A little advice from your Uncle Jim, kids, always bring an emergency roll of toilet paper for long trips. Always!) We got an early start the next day, but both of us were having trouble with the heat and the cropdusters by then. I did most of the driving, because I felt, at the time, that I was in marginally better shape to drive. Of course, that was sorely tested when I almost rear-ended a car that faded into the background when I got mesmerized by the road.
That was all before I got my precious Hilda, thankfully, because I cannot imagine making that drive with animals. It was pretty horrific. Hmm, maybe that was a warning of things to come… Ah, well, hindsight is 20/20, they say. Back in those days, I used to describe myself as a “damn Yankee carpet-bagger, come to steal your money and your women”. At the time, it was accurate! But, somewhere in there, I changed. I became a Texan. I became a Houstonian. Now, I can never leave. Where else could I live this well for this little money? Well, and still live in America.
Obviously, things have changed in those seven years. A lot of things have changed. Some for the better, like finding my dog, and some for the worse… But, no matter the changes, I just keep on going. I wonder what will change in the next seven years? I’m not sure, but I look forward to finding out!


Advice from your Uncle Jim:
"In times like the present, men should utter nothing for which they would not willingly be responsible through time and eternity."
   --Abraham Lincoln

6/8/2005

Literature

Filed under: Art,Fiction,Fun,Review,The Network Geek at Home,Things to Read — Posted by the Network Geek during the Hour of the Dog which is in the evening time or 9:25 pm for you boring, normal people.
The moon is Waning Gibbous

Yes, I read books without pictures. Sometimes.
Frankly, I do prefer the books with pictures. Preferably big pictures in color that illustrate the more complicated points in the text. But, I digress… Recently, I finished reading Fluke: Or, I Know Why the Winged Whale Sings and you can read that review at The Fantasist’s Scroll. And, today at lunch I started reading Airtight Willie & Me, which is a little different. It’s what be called “ethnic fiction”, if you’re being polite, or “ghetto writing”, if you’re being accurate. I’ve read about the first 45 pages or so and it’s surprisingly good. Of course, it’s a little gritty and filled with slang and poor grammar, but it’s no worse than reading the web these days. Oh, and the author is from Chicago, so there’s a lot of “local interest” in it for me. Though, I have to admit, Iceberg Slim’s Chicago is a whole lot different than mine!
So, there’s an upside to all this time alone after all. I get a lot more reading done these days with a whole lot less hassle. And, no one gives me hell about what I’m reading!

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5/24/2005

Mistaken Identity

Filed under: Advice from your Uncle Jim,Criticism, Marginalia, and Notes,Deep Thoughts,Life, the Universe, and Everything,News and Current Events,Personal — Posted by the Network Geek during the Hour of the Hare which is terribly early in the morning or 6:21 am for you boring, normal people.
The moon is Waning Gibbous

Damn, I never really knew anyone in the mob.
At least, as far as I know… Well, yesterday, I was talking with my parents about the infamous Frank Calabrese and found out there are two of them. And, the one we knew is NOT the one from the Chicago Mafia! Apparently, this is a repeated case of mistaken identity. The Tribune accidentally ran a picture of the “safe” Calabrese in an article about the “connected” Calabrese. The “safe” Calabrese is sueing. The Tribune printed a retraction, of course, but the character damage had been done.
Sadly enough, this kind of thing goes on all the time. People run their mouths about how terrible someone is without ever really digging into the real facts, all because it’s a good story. I can’t count how many times I recounted meeting the “safe” Frank Calabrese and painted him as a dangerous gangster, when all along, he’s just been the good family man that he seemed. I hope the guy wins his libel case. People should be much more careful what they put into print about someone. Even if they share the same name!
The worst part of it all, though, is that I lose a good Chicago mob story. Well, I guess it’s time to go out and mingle with the wrong crowd!


Advice from your Uncle Jim:
"On a clear disk, you can see forever."

5/19/2005

Back To Prison

Filed under: Advice from your Uncle Jim,Deep Thoughts,Life, the Universe, and Everything,News and Current Events,Personal,Things to Read — Posted by the Network Geek during the Hour of the Hare which is terribly early in the morning or 6:19 am for you boring, normal people.
The moon is Waning Gibbous

No, not me. I’ve never been.
Nor is it any of my friends, so you all can breathe a sigh of relief, I haven’t ratted any of you out. No, it’s Frank “Frankie Breeze” Calabrese who, according to this article on ABC7Chicago.com, has been ratted out by his own son, Frank Junior, and his brother, Nick. And, he’s not outside now, though he was supposed to get out next year. Now, that has got to be hard time, being turned in by your own kid and brother.
I mention this because I actually met Mr. Calabrese when I was a kid. I call him “Mister”, incidentally, because I call anyone who can kill me, or have me killed by just pointing at me, “Mister”. My dad did business with one of his fronts, a place called FCL Graphics. They were printers and undercut everyone else in the greater Chicago area when my dad needed printing done for a company he managed. We went to a Christmas party there once and I met the whole gang, if you’ll pardon the pun. (Incidentally, the picture in the link is nothing like I remember Mr. Calabrese. It must have been taken in the late 40’s, when he was just getting his start.) He seemed like a nice, older gentleman. A sort of grandfatherly figure. But, I shook hands with him. I must have been all of eight or nine. Old enough to remember it, but not old enough that it’s a really clear memory. Actually, he’s responsible for my interest in origami. He owned the license on a couple of origami books and he sent some home with my dad once. I’m been folding paper cranes ever since.
I got to that news story by way of this article on Slate about “mobster” nicknames, but this story caught my attention, because he’s almost never in the news. The only other time I remember seeing him in the news was when he got caught back in 1995 or 1996, long after my father had stopped using his business. We were all a little surprised at the time, but, in retrospect, it does make sense. How else could he afford to charge such low prices. I mean, they were just criminal…


Advice from your Uncle Jim:
"I'm always amazed that people take what I say seriously. I don't even take what I am seriously."
   --David Bowie

2/21/2005

How To Be Homeless

Filed under: Advice from your Uncle Jim,Deep Thoughts,Geek Work,Life, the Universe, and Everything,Personal — Posted by the Network Geek during the Hour of the Hare which is in the early morning or 7:01 am for you boring, normal people.
The moon is Waning Gibbous

Well, this is a little too timely…
But, it could come in handy, so, for all you out of work computer geeks out there, here is the Survival Guide to Homelessness. It’s a blog done to promote a book that is all about surviving on the street. Though, the blog gives plenty of good advice. In fact, it brought home for me just how important getting my tire fixed really was! I had no idea how important a car could be if you’re homeless.

Okay, okay, I’m probably not ever going to be actually homeless, but it is something I’ve had nightmares about since moving down to Texas from Chicago. I mean, I didn’t really know anyone when I moved to Houston, so I was almost all on my own. I left all my family behind and almost all my friends, too. It was scary as Hell. Well, the worst has happened, or is happening, and I’m still making it by, with a little help from my friends. Some new, some old, but all friends that I’ve come to rely on. Thanks youse guys!


Advice from your Uncle Jim:
"You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years of trying to get other people interested in you."
   --Dale Carnegie

2/14/2005

Happy St. Valentine’s Day!

Filed under: Criticism, Marginalia, and Notes,Deep Thoughts,Fun,Life, the Universe, and Everything — Posted by the Network Geek during the Hour of the Hare which is in the early morning or 7:10 am for you boring, normal people.
The moon is Waning Gibbous

As a fourth-generation Chicagoan, I celebrate this day a little differently.
You see, not only is this a day that greeting card companies crafted into a reason to waste money on cards, flowers and candy for someone who should love you without all that junk, but it was also a very important day in Chicago history. Today is the day when, in 1929, Al “Scarface” Capone gathered together seven of his closest friends and gunned them down. Yep, the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre. Old Al was clever, too. Not only did he get seven of his arch rival’s men together, but he dressed his hired guns up as police officers so that if they were spotted any witnesses would assume everything was under control because the police were already there! Yes, sir, that Al sure was an innovator.
So, as you shell out your hard-earned cash for disposable junk that will most likely go to waste, remember how they used to celebrate St. Valentine’s Day on the South Side. Feels about the same, doesn’t it?
(Oh, and sorry about yesterday’s tease. I just couldn’t resist!)

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