Having vs. Wanting
“After a time, you may find that ‘having’ is not so pleasing a thing, after all, as ‘wanting.’ It is not logical, but it is often true.”
… Spock, “Star Trek – The Original Series, Episode 34: Amok Time,” stardate 3372.7..
Ah, how true. The chase is so often more exciting than gaining one’s objective. How well I know that, considering how my marriage and subsequent divorce played out. I wonder how often that occurs to people? How often does it occur too late?
I remember hearing stories about men retiring and, within weeks, dying, essentially from boredom. They had no hobbies or interests to keep them occupied, so when they finally reached retirement and stopped working they lost their identity and their purpose. This phenomena also explains a lot of infidelity, I think, especially female infidelity. Having acquired their romantic hero/rescuer/white knight/whatever, they “settle down” and life changes on them. All the things that made that poor sap so attractive to the lady, and I use that term loosely, in question suddenly become the most annoying habits when they’re living together or, heaven forbid, married. So, the chase is on again, and again, and again, and again. It becomes a vicious cycle driven by that never-ending quest to recapture the fleeting and temporary feelings of romantic love. But, as always, things change when one gets what one wants. It’s never quite what we wished for after all.
Oddly, that reminds me of another bit of wisdom from an unlikely source:
Whatever you want too much you can’t have, so when you really want something, try to want it a little less.
Joel Rosenberg – The Sleeping Dragon
Honestly, today, I have no idea what I want. What I wanted in the past, well, that didn’t turn out so well, due to no one’s fault. Just bad choices all around, despite the angry words and the bitter stories told. Nothing more than people make the best choices they could, but bad choices in retrospect. It happens. The result, though, is that now, I spend a lot of time and money in therapy trying to figure out what I really want and how to go about getting it. If it weren’t working so well, I’d say it sounded pathetic. Well, I guess I’ll work through that with my shrink, too.
So, kids, take some advice from your Uncle Jim, want things less and enjoy what you have more. It works out better in the long run.
Advice from your Uncle Jim:
"The whole purpose of religion is to facilitate love and compassion, patience, tolerance, humility, forgiveness."
--Dalai Lama
