Diary of a Network Geek

IncredibleHulk

Originally uploaded by Network Geek

Yes, I saw The Incredible Hulk Friday night.

But, I swear, I am not a hardcore movie or comic book geek. It was just coincidence that my buddy and I went to see this on opening night. Honest.
In a nutshell, The Incredible Hulk was a good movie. Not as good as Iron Man but way, way better than the last Hulk movie directed by Ang Lee. He may be a great director, but he just doesn’t understand American comic books. This movie, however, was better than average. And, from here on out, the spoilers are rampant, so if that bothers you, stop reading.

The movie starts with Bruce Banner in the slums of Brazil, hiding from both his green alter-ego and General “Thunderbolt” Ross and the U.S. military. He’s shown working with a martial artist learning both self-defense and how to control his emotions in an attempt to rein in the chaotic Hulk. (Incidentally, the martial arts instructor is “played” by Rickson Gracie, a world famous jiu-jitsu fighter and instructor.) Then, during the opening credits, they pay homage to the Incredible Hulk TV show, by showing a different version of the Hulk’s origin which, amazingly enough, blends both the old movie and the new version together quite well. The opening credits also have design documents from Stark Industries, referencing the Iron Man movie and highlighting Marvel’s brilliant strategy of crossing their movies over a bit for some built-in self marketing.
Of course, it doesn’t take long before Banner, played quite well by Edward Norton, runs into problems both with some local toughs and General Ross’ team of commandos. The end result? Here comes the Hulk, naturally. Well, Banner “Hulks out” and ends up several countries away in Guatemala, when he wakes up from his Hulk induced blackout. Naturally, he decides to keep heading North through Mexico to get back into the US where he hopes to retrieve the data from his old experiment that made him the Hulk to aid him in his quest for a cure. Naturally, this brings him back in contact with his old flame, Elizabeth Ross, played by Liv Tyler. Frankly, I don’t care for her as anything but an elf or a video vixen in her daddy’s videos. She is easily the weakest part of this movie. Well, as you might have guessed, old Thunderbolt Ross is there, watching and waiting for Banner. This time, though, he’s got more than just commandos to help him capture the good doctor. He’s got a full array armament, including a pair of sonic cannons that are fairly cool. Oh, and he’s given his pet commando, Emil Blonsky, played by Tim Roth, a super-soldier serum to make him, well, super.
Of course, Banner Hulks out again, and gets away, but this time he takes Betty Ross with him on the run. They try to find the scientist who’s been helping Banner find a cure, armed with the data for which Banner has risked all this trouble.

Well, I won’t tell you all the secrets in this movie, in case you plan on seeing it, but, I do have a couple more cool things to look out for. First, let me remind you of the Stark Industries reference to last month’s Iron Man movie. Also, there’s a cameo by Robert Downy Jr., aka Tony Stark, during a bar scene that also ties into Iron Man and the upcoming Avenger’s movie.
Naturally, there’s also a cameo by Stan Lee, Hulk creator and comic book legend. He plays a regular guy who drinks some tainted South American soda and, unfortunately, expires from gamma radiation poisoning. But, as always, his cameo is fun and funny.
Also, there are numerous tie-ins to the rest of the Marvel universe, which is very cool. In fact, there are many setups for a second Hulk film as well as the other references to recent and upcoming Marvel films that I’ve already mentioned.
I was disappointed that they edited out the Captain America cameo. Not sure where it was supposed to be, but it seems like a number of things that we were shown in early trailers and previews got trimmed or cut completely. Oh, well, at least it didn’t take anything away from the movie.
Oh, and don’t forget to look for a cameo by Lou Ferrigno, who played the original TV Hulk, as a security guard.

One small criticism, though, is the CG. You’d think it’d be the last thing I’d complain about, right? I mean, I’m total CG fan, sure, and the more realistic it is, the better I like it, but they almost go too far on the Hulk. He’s a little more than “real”, I think. I don’t know how much time they spent on it, but I think they spent a little too much time. Sometimes, less is more and I think this is one of those times. Or, at least, the should have spread the CG budget around a bit and used the effects on something other than the Hulk. I definitely think that the CG in Iron Man was better but, honestly, it’s only a minor thing.

So, in short, to sum up, The Incredible Hulk was good. Not as good as Iron Man, but better than Ang Lee’s version. Well worth seeing, especially if you’re a comic book fan.
Now, go see it!

Strangers

Originally uploaded by Network Geek

Quite possibly the least frightening scary movie I’ve ever seen.

Well, Child’s Play may have been worse, but The Strangers really is a bad, bad movie.
Granted, I am not the biggest fan of so-called horror films because I find them sadly formulaic and predictable, not to mention generally not scary, either. Also, mostly, the people in these movies never seem to learn and they make giant, ridiculous mistakes. Sadly, as much as I hoped this movie might surprise me, it did not.

So, the basic premise of The Strangers is this: A “happy” couple has a bit of relationship trouble after a friend’s wedding but end up out in the country at an isolated house where they’re stalked by persons unknown. One of the many formulas for horror films. So, naturally, here’s this couple, played by Liv Tyler and Scott Speedman, and they’re having a fight about the fact that he’s asked her to marry him but she’s not ready to marry. And, of course, their fight leads them to sex. Well, almost… As they’re starting to get their freak on, a girl knocks at the door asking for some other girl by name, but, of course, not anyone the couple knows. That’s the last drama for almost an hour. Yes, that’s right, an hour. He goes out for cigarettes and she changes clothes while she dashes about the house hearing the usual “is someone there?” stuff that end up in horror movies. By the time he gets back with her cigarettes, she’s freaking out and we know that someone else is there. And, finally, there’s some hope that plot will occur and someone will die.

Well, there are finally a couple of deaths and a little bit of suspense and a bit of violence. But, let’s look at the mistakes now, shall we? First of all, they’re eating Bluebell Ice Cream. Now, that means that these folks are in the rural South somewhere, since that’s mostly where Bluebell is available. In fact, I’m betting they’re supposed to be in Texas, which is home to the Brenham-based dairy. So, that would mean that there should be guns in the house somewhere. Not just the shotgun they find, but one or more revolvers. I mean, seriously, can anyone believe that a rural Texas home doesn’t have more than just a shotgun? Really? Or that a guy would not have at least a passing understanding of how to use it? C’mon! I bet Live Tyler in real life has a better understanding of guns than the “hero” of this story!
Then, Liv Tyler spends most of the movie running around barefoot. Can you not take the time to put on shoes before trying to outrun a someone you think is going to kill you? I mean, seriously, am I going to make a mad dash to a barn over an unknown hillside trying to get away from a murderer without putting on shoes? Yeah, I don’t think so, either.
And, do I really need to go into the whole “stay together” thing? Or, do I need to reinforce what a good idea it is to keep your cellphone charged? Or how silly it is to stand by the windows when the killers are right outside and have an axe? Seriously, the two characters in this movie deserved to die. They were too stupid to live. It was just evolution in action.

Honestly, if this isn’t the worst movie I see all year, I’d be shocked. In fact, if I hadn’t only spent four dollars on the matinee to see The Strangers, I’d be really upset. Do yourself a favor, though, and don’t bother seeing this movie, or even renting it. Trust me.