Diary of a Network Geek

Yes, I freely admit that I spoil my dog.

I’m going out of town for a couple of days, starting Thursday this week, and instead of asking a friend to watch my dog for me, I’m boarding her at my vet. I’m doing this for a couple of reasons. First, although my friend I usually ask to watch her would be happy to do that for me, I don’t want to put him out that much or for that long. I’ll only be gone four days, but two of those days, he’d have to drive all the way across town to let her out and check her food and water. Frankly, that just seems like more hassle than is right for me to ask of him. Secondly, if I ever have to travel for an extended period of time for work, I’ll want to know that I have a good, long-term arrangement that my poor, spoiled dog will survive. Thirdly, my vet, the Jersey Village Animal Hospital, has about the newest, nicest facility I’ve seen. Honestly, it will be like sending her to a four day doggie spa.

Hilda will have her own private room with its own door to a private, fenced yard. She’s never had a doggie door before, so I’m interested to see how she does with that. If it works well for her, I may just install one at home. But, in addition to having that free access, she’ll be walked twice a day to get her exercise. She’ll also get a bath before I pick her up Monday morning.
I’ve been told that I can bring her favorite pillows and toys, but I don’t think I can get her couch into the back of my car. What? Doesn’t every dog have their own, full-sized couch? Well, I guess we’ll just have to settle for a couple of throw pillows off the couch. And, I’ll bring a couple of her favorite bones, too, so she’ll have something to worry on when I’m not there. (Don’t tell her, but I have a giant rawhide bone for her when she gets back!) Still, I’m worried that she won’t eat while I’m gone. She gets like that sometimes. When I had to go overnight to our office in Louisiana not too long ago, she didn’t touch her food while I was away. So, just to make sure she had something I knew she’d eat, I made her muffins last night.
Yes, I baked my dog apple-cinnamon muffins from a recipe in Cooking the Three Dog Bakery Way. It’s not as good as what she’d have gotten from the Pink Poodle Gourmet, but, since I’m not dating the nice lady who runs that business anymore, it didn’t seem quite “proper” to beg dog cookies from her. Oh, I’m sure she would have been happy to give me enough for the four days and then some, because she’s sweet like that, but I’d feel wrong asking. So, I baked my own instead. Actually, they’re quite tasty. Hilda and I enjoyed a couple last night, while they were still warm.

Now, not everyone may understand the fuss I make over my dog. But, let me tell you, she’s more loyal to me than any single person I know. And, as I’m sure my regular readers are tired of hearing, she was the only reason I came home from work almost two years ago, when I was deep, dark depression and contemplating suicide. It amazes me to think, at one point, I thought I’d lost her because I was willing to listen to a lie. Hilda is my little miracle dog, though, who came back to me from far away to give me that little extra bit of life that I needed to keep me going. So, now, I happily bake her treats to snack on while she’s relaxing at her spa.

Now, I just have to convince one of the cute, young girls who works there to pay a little special attention to my Hilda. Maybe, if I play up the whole “separation anxiety” thing we’ll both get a little special attention…

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
-Mark Twain

Advice from your Uncle Jim:
"When I look into the future, it's so bright it burns my eyes."
   --Oprah Winfrey

Don’t laugh, it happens sometimes!
Lately, I’ve had a lot of externally generated chaos in my life. People doing things that they can morally justify in their own, strange view of the world. Imagined “crimes” I’ve committed against them making their own bad behavior somehow “justice”. It’s an interesting thought, really. But, I’m reminded of a quote:

“Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.”
-H.G. Wells

Interesting that a science-fiction author would come up with that one, isn’t it?
So, I find myself looking at my own behavior in light of that statement. What am I jealous of? What makes me angry and cry out for justice? Frankly, nothing that I should expect justice from as the end result. Why should I expect justice? Am I somehow so morally upright, or worse, superior, that I should expect justice when others recieve none?

“Who told you life was fair?”
-William F. Hoffman, Jr. (my father)

Funny, that now, Dad should tell me that I’m about due for something good to happen to me. And, that I should be the one to remind him that, just because I’m “due” doesn’t mean that it will happen. Hey, sometimes, life just isn’t “fair”. I don’t get my way. Sometimes, I lose. Things and people are taken away from me. I’m punished for things other people did. But, none of that is an excuse for me to behave badly.

“There is no merit in discipline under ideal circumstances. I’ll have it in the face of death, or it’s useless.”
-Issac Asimov

In the end, it is my moral duty to behave in a manner consistent with my personal belief system, no matter the circumstances. It is often painful and fills my life with uncomfortable situations, but that is no excuse. I cannot change my moral compass because I hit rough seas. A new compass will still point the way and if it doesn’t, then I’m lost.

“Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him:
but I will maintain mine own ways before him.”
-Job 13:15

I’ve often identified with poor, old Job. The guy got pounded at God’s acquiesence. The Enemy, which is how Satan translates from Hebrew, was given the opportunity to turn Job from God. He hit Job with everything under the Sun, but he never denounced God. Oh, just like me, he shook his fist at God and asked “Why me?!”, but he never renounced his belief. God abides, whether I choose to believe in His power or not. I only cheat myself to deny him. He sustains me through the hard times when all humans may desert me. Prayer realigns me to His presence and His purpose for me.

” From one thing, know ten thousand things. ”
-Miyamoto Musashi, The Book of Five Rings

So, from each “problem” I try to learn something new. About myself, about the world, or about God and His path for me. It’s not always easy and I often need help to see the lesson. That’s one of the reasons I’m looking forward to my health insurance kicking back in so I can get back to seeing my therapist. We’d just gotten to a point where I was starting to learn some really interesting things about myself and then… Pop! Ah, well, from what I understand, those deep, dark secrets will still be there when I get back to seeing him. I never thought I’d feel so good about going to a therapist. Really. Of course, part of that is I’m learning how tough I am on myself. For years, I held myself to a higher standard than those around me, much to my own detriment. So, for me, learning to be gentle with myself and “ease up” on myself has been a challenge.

“We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it – and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again – and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.”
-Mark Twain

I try to keep that in mind as I learn to trust again. And, as I learn to be more honest, with myself and others. Honesty works both ways. First, I have to stop lying to myself, then I have to keep from lying to others. Not everyone is up to the task, and I know I wasn’t always either. But, the truth is easier than keeping track of so many lies. Much easier.

“And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”
–John 8:32

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.

Mark Twain was never more right. It’s one of the reasons I love my dog so much. And, of course, one of the reasons I miss her so. At least she was loyal. Whatever you say about dogs, at least they’re more loyal and trustworthy than the average person. I’ll get another dog eventually, just because I can’t stand being without one anymore. I went for years without having one, but now that I’ve had one for a bit, I miss her terribly. I was watching a movie where a little kid’s dog got killed earlier and it made me all weepy. I never thought I’d get all sniffly about a dog again. God, I miss Hildegard.
Well, there’s nothing I can do about that now. She’s gone. I try to think of her as dead. It’s easier than imagining her lonely and ignored most of the time. A flesh-and-blood toy. So, I’ve started volunteering at H.O.P.E. That’s where Hilda was rescued from originally. I’m still up in the air regarding my living situation. In fact, I probably won’t know for months how that’s going to work out. So, taking that into consideration, I’m not willing to adopt another dog. (And, yes, I secretly hope that Hilda will find her way back to me. Though, that would take a miracle beyond my comprehension at this point.) It let’s me see dogs and visit with them. And, cats, too. I never thought I’d miss cats, but I so miss that little hellion, Hyacinth, and her brothers, Gladstone and Belvedere. Volunteering will tide me over until I can take on my own pet responsibility and, H.O.P.E. is a cause I believe in. They’re a no-kill shelter, which I really appreciate. After all, it’s not the poor dog’s fault that her owner is too careless to poerly fulfill her needs. Why should that be a death sentence? Right, it shouldn’t. It’s not the animal’s fault that her owner didn’t treat her right or let her run free. So, I believe in H.O.P.E. and rescuing dogs from dire straights.
In a way, I’m lucky. I get to rescue another dog. I look forward to it!