Diary of a Network Geek

Mystic martial arts hoaxers.

To be fair, I think these people do at least partially believe that this is real.
If you’re my age, you probably remember the ads in the back of comic books promising martial arts skills and near magic powers via correspondence courses, or even a single book or pamphlet. As a kid, a skinny kid who was often bullied in one way or another, I wished those things were true. As a slightly older kid and an adult, I knew they weren’t really true. I think a part of me still wanted to believe them, but, by the time I was in college, I knew they weren’t anything more than wishful thinking. Or, maybe, at best, a metaphor for a way of looking at how the martial arts fit into a larger world. And, don’t get me wrong, there are a lot of things about martial arts I really love. But, like anything that’s popular and been around for a long time, there are plenty of people looking to take advantage.
So, today, in that spirit, I bring you The Bizarre World of Fake Martial Arts. It’s about 30 minutes and worth every second. It starts by looking at some of the stranger, and funnier, fake martial artists from the 70’s and goes all the way to the Chinese MMA fighter showing that all too many of the modern Chinese martial arts masters are, well, not quite able to deliver on some of their promises to potential students. There’s a lot packed into a 30 minute video and I’m grateful to Boing Boing for bringing it to my attention. And, now yours.

Enjoy!

This post originally appeared on Use Your Words!

So, way, way back a couple of weeks ago, I saw the surprisingly good Ninja Assassin.

Now, I recognize that not many of my regular readers are likely to be into martial arts films of any kind as much as I probably am, much less the somewhat specific sub-genre of ninja films.  But, somehow, I did manage to talk one of my friends into going to see this one with me.  And, you know what?  When it was all over, he thanked me for it!  Yeah, that’s how good a film this little sleeper was!  I mean, really, this is the best ninja movie I’ve seen since Sho Kosugi did Enter The Ninja back in the early 80’s, practically launching the ninja craze in America.  In fact, the Great Master himself was in this movie as the old master who teaches Raizo, the main heroic ninja assassin of the title, played by the Korean pop-star, Rain.

The plot is a ninja film classic; the hero suffers through a brutal and very thourough training as a child to become the ultimate silent assassin only to be betrayed by his clan, who hunt him even as he seeks to bring them to justice.  No, really, this is a pretty common theme in these kinds of movies.  Honest.
So, the hero, Raizo, has help in the form of an international police researcher and her partner, though, he ends up not being as much help as you’d think at first.  She, however, gets in over her head by getting a file, of sorts, from a former Soviet intelligence agent who died under somewhat mysterious circumstances, who had been researching the ninja.  Mika, the researcher, played by Naomie Harris, had also been researching the connection between the ninja and several high-profile, virtually impossible assassinations.  The only problem is, no one else believes her.  No one, that is, except the ninja themselves and they come to kill her.
That’s where Raizo comes in.  He intervenes and saves her, then takes Mika on the run.  Not so much out of choice as neccessity.  They run from both the clan and Mika’s organization, who both come after the pair.  And, really, that’s pretty much the entire movie, right there.  It is, in the truest sense of the word, an action movie, but it’s a bit more than that, too.  It’s a kind of archetypal ninja action movie, with all the “required” elements, including honor, justice, a really good training sequence flash-back, a skilled master, a beautiful girl, and, of course, a love story.  That, along with the most amazing martial arts action you’ve ever seen in your life, make this a winner.

Now, you may think I’m exaggerating on this, but consider for a moment who made this film.  This bad boy was produced by the Wachowski’s of The Matrix fame and the script rewrites were done by J. Michael Straczynski, the guy who wrote Babylon 5.   These folks are geniuses in their field and have done truly revolutionary things for science-fiction, movies and television.  Really.
I mean, you’ve got the guys who reinvented action and, essentially, set an entirely new standard for action movies.  Then, you combine them with the guy who changed the face of episodic television science-fiction.  Mash them together with a ninja theme and think about where this might go.  And, yes, it really goes there.  Honest.  It was a visually stunning film.  Not in the same way that Avatar was, but, again, as an action movie, it took filmed martial arts to a whole new place.  It was fantastic.
Also, while it was paying homage to the ninja films of the 80’s, it included the guy who started it all, in a kind of ultimate homage; Sho Kosugi.  I’m pretty much convinced that any really great ninja film has got to include Kosugi or at least reference his work, so, you know, they score on that point.

So, yeah, this is kind of a special sub-genre of film, but if it’s your thing, you have got to rent this one.  I’m sure it’s not in the theater any more, but this should absolutely be in your Netflix queue.  If you love acttion, martial arts movies, or ninjas, you need to see this one.  Really.

And, there you have it.  Three movie reviews in three days.  A pretty good start to the new year, I think, even if I am reviewing movies from last year!