That did it!
Okay, now I know for sure I’ve had enough of this.
So, I’m rushing out of the office to get home, let the dog out, change clothes and get back in the car to scramble to my friend’s, J.’s, birthday party when I get a “private number” calling on my cell. I have a simple rule with that stuff, namely, “no ID, no answer”. Then, I get a text from ER girl.
“Your vm cut me off…”
Getting network busy
“Weird…”
Yeah In car What’s up?
“Yes was just trying to call you back”
From last night? I think. Little late for that, don’t you think? So, when I pull into the driveway, I call her. We’ve got terrible reception and I have a hard time making out what she’s trying to tell me. Also, I’m trying to get the dog to go out and “take care of business” before I run out to fight traffic to the opposite end of town for the party. And, honestly, I’m irritated that she thinks it’s okay to skip a prearranged meeting, even if it was just on the phone, so that she can interrupt my schedule later at her convenience. I guess it didn’t occur to her that I set that call up for Thursday night for a reason. Also, when I’m trying to get out the door and do two other things at once, I kind of lose all patience with poeple that don’t seem to be acting with a purpose. And, by that I mean I can be a bit of an ass. Again, I know this and that’s why I scheduled the call at a more relaxed time. So, we agree to meet for lunch Sunday, even though I’m really not sure it’s a good idea at this point. Still, I’m willing to give someone the benefit of the doubt, so I’m willing to risk the small investment of time and lunch.
Just to make sure she knows everything’s still okay, I send her this, via the Match.com e-mail system:
Sorry, I was so short before. Trying to get dog out before I got changed and went out again. How late should I call tonight? Or should I just try you tomorrow?
Then, I change my shoes and head out to fight traffic. The party was good, and maybe I’ll write up a post about that some time this weekend, while I do laundry.
But, when I get home, I have first this e-mail:
“I will b up fairly late call anytime b4 1am”
Then this one:
“How was the party? I’m just online replying to emails. I got a very nasty email from one man who said I lied about my profile. He told me I shouldn’t have said I’m a few extra pounds because he thought I was too big for his taste.
I asked several men and women what I should list and they said a few extra pounds because i’m closer to that than full-figured. But then some people said full-figured is the same as a few extra pounds.
Anyway, I leave it up to you. If you prefer thin or atletic women, let me know. I don’t want you to waste an afternoon meeting up for lunch. If you’re familiar with women’s sizes, I’m a size 16.”
And, with that, I was done.
Honestly, well before this point, I’d figured out that she wasn’t exactly tiny, but that’s not really the point. I mean, I carry a little more extra weight than I’d like, so I’m pretty open-minded about the same thing in anyone I might date. But, again, she’s putting me off, and, in my mind, telling me that I’m, at best, her second or third choice. And, this is going to make me want to go out with her how? I guess it’s part of that new math in relationships that I missed somewhere in the past ten years or so… Really, it’s not about the weight, or even that things kept “coming up”. I’m just tired of doing this particular dance with this particular partner. I think I’d rather sit this one out, so, I replied with:
The party was fine, thanks for asking. My friend, who was the birthday boy, and his girl-friend announced they were getting married. I’ve known for a bit, but it was supposed to be a secret.
I’d like to think that I’m more concerned with who a person is than what size they are. Besides, I’m not exactly a “light-weight” either.
Honestly, after missing the pre-arranged call time last night, I was going to pretty much call off anything on Sunday. You’ve put me off several times and, while I’m pretty forgiving and patient, after setting a time that I was going to call and not being there… Well, that was about it. I was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt and follow through, just in case my first impression was really off, but, frankly, it seems like a pattern.
I also found it less than promising that you didn’t seem to be able to read all of the first few, short, e-mails I sent and we had to go over and over the same questions and answers. I felt like you thought I wasn’t really worth your time. I’m no Nobel-prize winning super-model, but I think I’m worth paying a minimum of attention.
We’re both busy people and I feel like we’re wasting each other’s time at this point, so maybe it would be best if we just called it near miss and moved on. No harm, no foul.
I’m sure you’ll find the right guy for you out there, somewhere, but I don’t think I’m it.
I’m sure someone, somewhere, will take me to task for something I’ve written there, but, really, enough is enough. I had a better time joking with the married couple, gay choir director and the red-headed federal probation officer I was sitting with at dinner tonight than any conversation I’ve had, or can even imagine having, with ER girl. (Actually, the probation officer is kind of cute and she volunteers for the Miniature Schnauzer Rescue, which I think is pretty cool.)
At the time of writing this post, I haven’t heard back from ER girl. I’m not sure that I even will, given her history of communication. I don’t know, do you all think I over reacted? Do I need more patience than that? Or, should I stick to my standards of basic courtesy? LK sure didn’t seem to have a problem with these kinds of things. Even my ex-wife managed this much, at least when we were dating. It doesn’t seem like so much to ask to me.
