Diary of a Network Geek

Just in time for the holiday!

So, we’re about to start Memorial Day Weekend, which for most of us means picnics and barbeques and parties.  And, at least where I’m from , that means drinks!  But, the thing is, I know a lot of people who don’t drink alcohol any more for any number of reasons.  For one, let’s face it, we’re getting old and fat and all those fine alcoholic beverages are just loaded with calories.  (And, after one too many, we all tend to make asses of our selves in a manner unbecoming our age!)  So, what’s a fun-loving party person to do?  Well, make one of these 15 Delicious Non-Alcoholic Spritzers, Sodas or Mocktails, brought to you via the Kitchn.

Sure, we may not enjoy that obnoxious guest at whatever party we attend, but, if we drink these fine, non-alcoholic drinks, at least we are less likely to BE that obnoxious guest!
Have fun this weekend and be safe!

I mean, on a piece by piece basis.

Have you ever wondered just how much you’re worth?  And, I don’t mean that old thing about how much the various chemicals that make up a human body are worth, but how much are we worth, as assembled?  You know, on the basis of our individual parts.  I’ve often joked about paying off debt by selling a kidney, but, sometimes, I honestly wonder just how much I would get if I could actually do that.
Well, now there’s a handy reference chart to tell you just how much your body parts are worth.  No joke.
The chart is priced in UK Pounds Sterling, so you’ll need to convert it, but, still, it’s pretty fascinating.

Incidentally, this is theory only, since you can’t actually, legally,  sell body parts, as far as I know.  And, I would assume there are variations in price based on the quality of the part.  Also, since I’m a cancer survivor, I actually can’t even give away my parts.  No one would want them any more.  How sad for me!  There goes my “get out of debt” plan!

Anyway, it’s a fun, if somewhat ghoulish, way to spend a little slack time on a Friday, so enjoy!

It’s no secret to anyone who knows me that I love dragons.

And, clearly, I’m a “gadget guy”.  I mean, who in IT isn’t obsessed with gadgets, at least to some degree, right?  And, you may not realize it, but, well, I sometimes like to play with fire.  Nothing too huge, but, well, boys will be boys, I guess, right?  And, what boy hasn’t played with a campfire before, eh?
So, taking all that into consideration, you can imagine how cool I thought it was when I saw that someone had built a radio-controlled, fire-breathing dragon.
Yeah, you read that right.  Most of the linked article is in Italian, but the photos are still pretty clear and, honestly, the videos of this thing in flight and breathing fire are what everyone is going to want to see anyway.

So, yeah, it’s Friday, and you clearly have nothing better to do or you wouldn’t be reading my blog anyway, so you might as well go take a look at that link!
Enjoy!

No, not this blog or website.

Do you remember the days when we were building websites so fast that we couldn’t keep up?  Back when it was actually sort of pricey to buy a domain name?  Do you remember the days when as soon as anyone bought a domain they threw up a quick “Under Construction” page?  Ah, those were the days….
Honestly, I don’t know what we were thinking. No one had a plan to actually make money from the web, but we were all so excited about what this new medium, this new technology, might do for us, that didn’t seem to matter.  And, we were in such a rush to do something, anything, that the idea of running a test site that wasn’t live hadn’t really occurred to us yet.  So, we’d make these pages that were filled with breathless text about how the next great thing was coming soon and how excited we were and “please excuse our mess while we build the future”.  And we littered the page with these awful “Under Construction” graphics.

Well, prepare yourself.  Give yourself a little time to adjust.  Have a cup of coffee and get ready to have internet startup PTSD flashbacks, then go look at all of the Under Construction graphics known to the web.  They’re all there.  Even the ones in Japanese with the little anime characters.  They’re all there.
Look on these works and despair!

No, seriously, go have a blast of nostalgia and take a look at them.  Just don’t use them ever again.
And, happy Friday, y’all!

It’s no secret that I’m a contrarian in many ways.

I’m an amateur photographer.  And, I’m good at it.  Not great, but good.  I know a lot of photographers who are at all levels of skill and accomplishment.  Many of them are in a totally different place with their photography than me.  I do it because I love it and I find it relaxing.  It’s totally different from what I do to make money, even though skills from my professional life compliment my hobby.  But, I have met a lot of amateur photographers who would really like to be professionals.
Personally, I think it’s better to stay amateur.  People don’t think that shift from hobby to profession through very well most of the time.  There are all kinds of things that change when you start doing things professionally.  For one thing, you have to collect money.  It sounds fun until you have to actually do it, especially when someone doesn’t, or suddenly can’t, pay.  Trust me.  And, when it’s something like photography, well, sometimes, you just have got to get the shot, no matter how dangerous it is!
Think I’m kidding?  Then just feast your eyes on this little “Reality Check” from The Photo Society.  Click that link and see actual dangers, faced and mostly survived, by National Geographic Photographers!  Burns and acid-dripping caves?  Broken bones and tear gas?  No, thanks!  And, those aren’t even the worst!  Flesh eating parasites?!?  And, worst of all, I think, is the dreaded “penis fish”!  Yikes!  I think I’ll keep my amateur status, thanks!

Also, on the same site, for those of you who are good enough, or already semi-professional, they offer some advice about how to respond to requests for free photography work you might get.  In fact, they suggest that you just go ahead and link right to that article.  So do I.  It’s not quite as good as what Harlan Ellison had to say about people asking for free work from him, but, it’s pretty close.  (Note that he does get a little loud and may use some slightly colorful language, so watch your volume at work.)

So, there you are, dear readers.  Some fun things to think about over the weekend while, hopefully, you pursue your hobby and not your profession!

I love me some infographics!

No, seriously, infographics are fun.
Now, I’m not a guy who has to track and record and quantify every aspect of his life.  I know people like that, but I’m not really one of them.  On the other hand, I am one of those guys who likes to look at log files and statistics and trends.  It’s kind of a contradiction, I’ll admit, but, well, there it is.    And, I’ll tell you what else, I’m very aware of all the information, all the data points, that I leave behind as a consequence of being on the internet, especially on social media sites, like Facebook.  So, have you ever wondered, like I have, what that data, that information, looks like?
Well, wonder no more!  Now, you, too, can get your very own Facebook Monster infographic!
All you have to do is go to the site, sign into Facebook via their application, and let the app go to work.  The result will be a personalized, fun, funny, monster-based, Facebook-driven infographic of your very own.  I’d share mine, but, well, I’ll be honest, my social media data-footprint kind of sucks for this particular application.  I’m just too low-profile, frankly, to generate a good example data set.

But, hey, this is about you and your data, not me and mine.  So, it’s Friday and you’re slacking anyway, you might as well hit the link and see how your social data looks.  And, y’all have a great weekend!

Time to get out into the server room with the big, blue ceiling!

Spring is springing in my part of the world.  Flowers are in bloom and the weather is quite mellow and pleasant.  And, of course, I spend most of my week trapped in a server room. But, I don’t want to take a lot of time off to go do things, so that means I’m stuck doing things on the weekend.  That doesn’t give me a ton of options, but there are always day trips.  I live in Houston, so there are all kinds of things to do, but, frankly, I’m not all that into most mainstream venues.  I mean, sports bars are okay, but I’m not really into sports.  And, well, once you’ve seen most regular museums, you’ve pretty much seen them all.  So, what’s a professional geek to do on his time off?

That’s where I’m hoping Nerdy Day Trips will help.
So far, there aren’t a lot of trips described for the Houston area yet, but there are more and more getting added all the time.  Oh, they hit the biggies, like NASA and the Battleship Texas, but they also have the National Museum of Funeral History and the Alkek Velodrome, among others.  And, yes, I’ll admit, since most of my “extra” income goes to camera gear these days, I’m mostly thinking of photo opportunities, so the stranger the better, as far as I’m concerned.
So, while the weather is nice, go and take advantage of these strange opportunities.  And, if there are any that you know of which aren’t on the map, especially in the Houston area, please, add them in!

And,hey, try to get out into the world this weekend and away from the computer for a bit, okay?
You’ll thank me later!

No, I’m not talking about me.

I’m talking about pop culture.  Or, at least, Hollywood.  I go on, sometimes at length, about how the geek never seems to get the girl.  Mostly, because I happen to be that geek who never seems to get the girl!  But, more and more, the geeks are getting the girl, at least in the movies, if not in life.  So, my personal dating woes aside, I have hope that, someday, I might get the girl, too!

Okay, not really, but, still, if you’re a lonely, single geek, check out the movies in that linked list.  They may give you hope!
And, if nothing else, they may inspire you to write a script where the geek gets the girl, too!

You may not realize it, but typography is actually very important to me.

Longtime readers of this blog may have noticed that it looks just a little different.  That’s because I’ve changed how I make the fancy titles on my posts.  Instead of using an older plugin which relied on TrueType fonts and good, old PHP programming to generate titles on the fly, I’ve moved to a much newer plugin that relies on FontBurner fonts, which are Flash-based.  There are a couple of reasons for this, actually, but the main one is that my webhost has had server utilization issues with my blog since I’ve been with them and after digging through log files, some signs point toward that older plugin being the issue.  But, what you all haven’t seen is the horror of trying to find an appropriate font that is readable and still conveys the sense of technical whimsy that I think represents this blog well.  It hasn’t been easy.

Now, I understand that not all my readers will share my quiet obsession with typography, but for those who do, I think you’ll enjoy the link I’m bringing you this week.  Have you ever tried to explain to people what the different parts of a font really are?  Or maybe wanted to know yourself?  Ever wonder why “kerning” is so important to that crazy web designer you hired to do your site?  Well, you may still wonder about that last one, but for almost all your other questions about what goes into a typeface and what it’s all called, go check out Typography Deconstructed.
They bill themselves as a single, central location to find as much high-quality information on type and typography as you could want.  And, I really think they have done it!  There are two main sections to this site; Anatomy of Type and Type Glossary.  They both show you what the different parts of a typeface are and what the different parts are called, just in two slightly different formats.

Also, for you typography fanatics, or teachers, there are posters for download or purchase that do a great, graphical, job of showing and explaining just what goes into type.

Whether you’re into typography or not, this site is worth a look, just to understand how type works and get some idea of how deeply it effects our daily life.  After all, without type and typography, you couldn’t have read this blog!

Today is St. Valentine’s Day.

Today, for reasons that are mostly attributable to the evil machinations of greeting card companies, we are expected to engage in a conspicuous display of romantic passion.  People mistakenly call it “love”, but, in my experience, love often has little to do with what we celebrate on this strange, little holiday.  We put so much pressure on each other, and ourselves, to be in the right kind of loving, romantic, passionate relationship that, frankly, it’s almost guaranteed that things will go horribly wrong.  And, yet we continue with it anyway.

For years, I was single on St. Valentine’s Day, and wished beyond all reason to be in a relationship with someone, anyone, with whom I might share the day.  Then, of course, I was and the event couldn’t possibly live up to any of the expectations I had set up for the holiday, my partner, nor myself.  It seemed to me that with every passing year, whatever I did was less and less appreciated.  More fault was found with how I tried to make the day special for her, until that last year, my ex-wife was actually complaining about the roses I’d saved my lunch money, literally skipped lunches out with the people at the office, to pay for to continue what I’d hoped was a tradition.  For ten years, I bought her at least a dozen red roses, usually, a dozen red and a dozen white, carefully requesting that they not include baby’s breath, because she was allergic to it, only to have her complain that the flowers I’d been so proud of getting in spite of financial difficulty, were aggravating her allergies and always had.  For ten years, she let me buy those flowers and complained about them, often behind my back, and let me think I was doing a good thing.  All for “love”.

Well, I can’t speak for my ex-wife, but I don’t think I knew what love really was when we were together.
In church, Sunday, of course, they read First Corinthians, Chapter 13, verses 4-7, which are “Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”  Now, I doubt that Paul was talking about romantic, passionate love in this letter, since he wasn’t particularly in favor of marriage, among other things, but, still, it’s often invoked as the kind of love we should have for a partner.
It’s certainly an ideal I strive for these days, on that rare occasion that I find myself involved with someone of the fairer sex.  But, it’s also how I simply try to treat everyone, regardless of how they feel about me.  Of course, some days I do that better than others, but it’s a goal for all days, not just this artificial, high-pressure holiday that was seemingly invented to make so many feel so inadequate.

And, I have to admit, my feelings about this holiday aren’t aided by my interest in history, especially Chicago history.  You see, I think of this day as the anniversary of when a fellow Chicagoan, Al Capone, rounded up seven of his closest buddies and gunned them down in the back alleys of the South Side of Chicago. Yes, that’s right, I’m talking about the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre! It was on this day, in 1929, that the rivalry between Bugs Moran and Al Capone reached its violent and bloody peak, leaving seven, bloody corpses in its wake, along with damaging both Moran’s North Side Gang and, ultimately, bringing so much attention to Capone from the FBI that it effectively ended his criminal career, as well.
Truly, a turning point in the criminal history of Chicago.

So, you all go out and have your romantic dinners and make cow-eyes at your object of desire, but, have yourself an extra bloody steak and remember how they used to celebrate this romantic holiday on the South Side in the old days.  And, remember, your relationship isn’t measured by how well or poorly things go today, but how you treat each other the other 364 days of the year.

Advice from your Uncle Jim:
"A woman is like a teabag, you can not tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water."
   --Eleanor Roosevelt