Diary of a Network Geek

An old “trick” that never seems to get old, even when it doesn’t quite work.

Every once in a while, I actually talk about technical stuff on this blog and this week, I’m focused on Google. Oh, sure, it’s called “Diary of a Network Geek”, but I generally talk about all sorts of geeky things that have nothing to do with computers or networking at all. Well, today you get a treat, gentle readers, and I’ll write a little technical bit about what this is and how it works, or doesn’t. Here’s the trick, in a nutshell: Google a specific site or page with no extra parameters, using the “site:ryumaou.com” syntax. (To hit a specific page, “site:ryumaou.com/hoffman/netgeek/“) When you get your search results, notice at the bottom of each description, there is a link labelled “Cached”. Click that and you’re looking at the page as it resides on the Google servers. At this point, normally, you’d not be hitting the actual website at all, but simply viewing the page as it was stored on Google’s servers when they spidered the site for their search database.

Now, normally, that would hide you from a web log, but not from this blog. Why? Good question. What you see pictured in the graphic on this post is a rookie mistake. Googlecache browsing doesn’t work well to conceal one’s IP address when browsing dynamic content. I know it might not always seem like it, but this blog is, actually, fairly dynamic. In this particular case, what tripped up our inexperienced sneak is a plugin, or set of plugins, running on the blog. Mainly, it was the plugin that makes the pretty title graphics via PHP. When our tricksy, little Hobbit hit the Googlecached page, his browser made a call directly back to code stored on my site to generate the cool graphics. Graphics which, because they are generated dynamically, are not stored in Google’s cache, but created “on the fly” every time someone hits my page. Interestingly enough, even if our erstwhile intruder had turned off the ability to view graphics in his browser, the PHP code would have still generated graphic, thereby alerting me to his rather weak attempt to conceal his identity.
The only thing one might gain from this “hack” is the ability to get around a blocked IP address. Sadly, the sneak doesn’t need to do this, as I block very few IP addresses at all. For one thing, an IP block is of limited value for blocking spammers, since they change IPs regularly to avoid such blocks. For another, to deal with spam and other unwanted visitors, I have other tools that work much better. So, really, all this particular tricksy, little Hobbit did was, well, waste their own time and give me a handy topic to write a quick piece about very basic web security.

So, um, thanks. Now, c’mon in from the cold and just browse the site to your heart’s content, okay? Oh, and don’t forget to vote on the poll in the sidebar there everybody!

Advice from your Uncle Jim:
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."
   --Martin Luther King

Truer words were never spoken.
At the time, I found it amusing. Not that I’m a wreck, but that someone would notice and say it out loud. But, I have to admit, it was less and less amusing with every repitition.

It was a Tuesday night and Ms.NewGirl was over for the first time. It was an evening of apple pie and pizza and roommates and dogs. A test, of sorts, to see if she was up to me. My house is a disaster. I don’t say this lightly. It really is. Imagine, if you will, a house that was once mostly orderly and only slightly cluttered. Now, picture what happens when the sole occupant slides into a deep depression with little motivation to eat, much less clean. Add to that a steady stream of papers, legal and otherwise, junk mail, and magazine subscriptions. Getting a good picture? Great, now, factor in one guy trying to scrape the last remnants of a life he’d just as soon forget into one room so the movers can haul it all away, only to find out that those movers aren’t ever coming. But, wait, there’s more! Add to that a roommate and a dog. What do you have? Yeah, a wreck.

I know it was just her way of telling me to get that junk out of the house so she wasn’t faced with that part of my past everywhere she looked, but I can’t blame her for that. Hey, I’d rather not be faced with it, either! But, it’s there. Both the Augean-Stable-like clutter and the past. She may not have to face it, but I do. Every day. But, you know, who I am today is a result of who I was then. It’s not good or bad, really, but it is a fact. The man I strive to be is built on the wreckage of the mistakes I made, the poor choices and the bad behavior. Who I am today is not who I was because, today, I choose not to be that guy. And that choice is pretty important. I choose to be who I am. I make choices that have consequences and take me places. Hopefully, different places than I’ve been or would have gone in the past. So, there’s no point running or hiding from any of it. I just have to get started on the wreckage that sticks out where folks might trip over it.

So, that’s what I’ve been doing the past couple weeks. I’ve been working on it. I mean I’ve been really working on getting my house in order.

I suppose I should explain the new poll a bit more.

I like getting things in the mail.  Well, specifically, things that aren’t bills.  I’ve been a Wired magazine subscriber for more years than I care to count.  But, at the moment, that’s the only regular subscription I have going.  I think I’d like to add at least one more, but I have very eclectic taste when it comes to reading material.  So, I’m looking for a little advice.  I’ve got several magazines in mind, which I listed in that poll, but, in case you’re not familiar with them, I’ll give a quick sketch of them here.

Dwell– Dwell is a home design magazine that I stumbled across, somehow, right when it first came out.  It’s a little edgy, but pretty modern and fairly hip.  It has some interesting ideas, some of which I might actually be willing to try in my own house.  It’s arty and would look good on my coffee table.

Men’s Vogue– Okay, first of all, I am not making this up.  Check the link, it actually does exist.  I got a free issue in the mail, probably because I subscribe to Wired or something.  It’s not bad, but, well, it says “Vogue” right on the cover and seems a little, um, er, queer.  Not that it’s bad, but I have enough trouble, seeming a little too feminine probably is not the best way to go for me.  Still, I’m thinking that having a magazine that has Vogue in the title is bound to score some kind of points with someone.
Men’s Health– Okay, my thought here was “Get off your lazy ass and get back into shape!”  No, seriously, that was mainly what I was thinking.  But, of course, Men’s Health also has a lot of articles on food, entertainment, women, sex, and style, besides just working out and exercise types of things.  Also, would look good on my coffee table.

Scientific American–  Hey, I like science and I’m American, so…  Okay, seriously, I do enjoy keeping up on some of the latest scientific developments and Popular Science is written like USA Today, for the least common denominator.  I need something that doesn’t talk down to me.  My concern is, though, that they’ll cover some of the same ground that Wired will.  Also, there might not be something that catches my attention in every single issue.

Locus–  A trade mag for science-fiction and fantasy writers.  It shows who’s writing what and when it will come out.  Sometimes is even has who was paid what kinds of advances for their novels and such.  Any big shake-ups in the industry show up here.  And, they have decent reviews as well as regular “Top Ten” bestseller lists.  It is a bit pricey though, so even if you all vote for that one, I’ll have to really think about it.  My thought here is that if I want to publish in this field, then I should know the field, you know?

Finally, of course, if there’s a really good suggestion you think I’ve overlooked, fill in your own answer!  Thanks for playing.

My house has become the Augean-Stable of suburban Texas.

LK has been very busy with her business lately and, as a consequence, has little time for me, but I haven’t been letting the time go to waste. Now that my roommate is gone, and I have no one else to blame for my mess, I’ve been cleaning. This is a much larger task than it would seem at first glance. In the past week, I’ve only managed to get three rooms mostly cleaned up: the kitchen, the bathroom and the living room. The kitchen, of course, got a little extra help from LK, who was in catering for 15+ years and couldn’t stand the horrible state I’d let things devolve into. I finished that and have maintained it quite nicely, though the floor could use a good scrubbing. I haven’t scrubbed the floor in the kitchen, though, because I spent that energy scrubbing the bathroom floor instead.

The living room has proven to be both quite a challenge and quite rewarding to clean as well. Clutter was my main enemy there. There is a price to pay for worshiping the written word: it tends to build up like sedimentary rock. I’ve spent the past four or five days going through more than five years worth of Wired, Writer’s Digest and assorted other magazines. Most got simply thrown out, of course, but I culled some good articles from others. I still have a short stack to finish going through. Some of what’s left have an article or two that I want to read, but don’t want to save. Others I still have to make a decision about keeping or discarding. If I’m in doubt, I’ve been opting for discard just to make room for something new. I seem to recall that someone told me the reason they call them “periodicals” is because, periodically, they should be thrown away. That’s some good advice!

Speaking of advice, I’m down to a single, regular magazine subscription : Wired. I let my Writer’s Digest run out and, after reviewing several year’s worth, I know I made a good decision. All the writing advice in those magazines repeats about every eighteen months. In that space of time, you can count on any topic being brought up again at least once. Besides, I have all that advice in books already. And, I’ve read most of it at least twice, if not more than twice. But, I like to have stimulating new ideas cycle through my house and brain, so I’m thinking about starting another subscription. I’ve started a poll on the sidebar so you all can offer your suggestions and vote on my thoughts. Please, help me!

Oh, now I’m off to an Independence Day picnic with the Prayer Mafia, er, “Team”, so you all enjoy your fireworks and be safe!

Some time back, my therapist said something unnerving to me.

I’ve made a conscious effort to not hide things in my body language or close off any part of my thoughts or life to my therapist. So, when we were talking about what my “core issue” was, it surprised me that my therapist said I was so “well defended”. I don’t weigh what I say before I say it in his office. I just relax and go with whatever direction the session takes. Oddly, when he asked me what I thought my basic “problem” was, I shrugged and told him. It’s simple, really. I have a negative self-image. Nothing all that revolutionary or unique.
But, it turns out that was only partly what he meant. What he was really getting at was that the negative things, the things that hold me back personally and socially, are so integrated into my personality that they’re hard to pull out and apart. Also, because of that, I don’t take much personally any more. I mean, when the average stranger on the Internet says something nasty to me, I’m about as likely to simply agree with them as not. I imagine that must be frustrating for both them and my poor therapist. To have me just shrug and say, “Hmm, seems like you’ve got a point there” must be a little disconcerting. But, hey, like Dirty Harry says, “A man has got to know his limitations”. It’s like shadow boxing. I’m always fighting with myself.

The thing is, though, I see this and I see why it’s not a good thing. So, I’m trying. Trying to remake myself a bit at a time. Trying to become that person who I want women to find attractive. Or, perhaps more precisely, to be what I feel would be attractive to others. In short, I want to get healthier, but mentally and emotionally as well as physically. That’s what has motivated me to get running shoes and start shuffling up to a fast walk so I can maybe, one day, run and get into shape again. Yes, again. I used to be in very good shape. I used to work the heavy bag for 20 minutes, three times a week, and follow that up with five or ten minutes of shadow boxing with “Heavy Hands“. That in addition to push-ups and sit-ups every morning. I was in shape. And, I felt better about myself then than I do now. So, one thing I want to do is get back into shape.

And, I want to write more. No, I want to write and publish. Period. I want to be able to say that I’m a published author. I don’t need to win an award or anything, just get paid, a little, for my writing. I think I can get back to that place, too. Yes, back. Next to my desk, I have a framed letter from a publisher telling me that the editor/owner regrets returning my story, but that they’ve shut down. It wouldn’t have paid cash, but I would have been in print. I was that good, once. And, I will be that good again, eventually.

Now, I don’t think that I have to actually achieve all those goals before I’m attractive, but, I sure do have to be working hard at them to keep anyone’s interest. Isn’t that what so many of the ads on Match.com say? They want a goal oriented person. Someone who knows what they want. All that kind of thing. So, I’m setting goals and working toward them. And, to be honest, I think I do need to achieve at least some of them before I think I’m attractive.
I don’t know how long it will take, but, I hope, that some of these things will start to undo the knots that tie up the better part of me and slave that to the well defended, slightly defective, part. I hope that starting the work will start to break down the walls I’ve built over the last nine or more years. That the battlements might crumble down and that I can be more open, vulnerable and known to the people around me. I’m not promising anything, but, I am going to try.
We’ll see how it goes.

Advice from your Uncle Jim:
"All our dreams can come true - if we have the courage to pursue them."
   --Walt Disney

If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.
–Abraham Maslow

So, I’ve been doing a lot of strange things at work the past couple of weeks. And, by strange I mean working around problems like trying to get things done without spending money. That always seems to lead me through some interesting back doors and into areas that I’ve not been before.

First, I was asked to do some browser forensics. Basically, it was supposed that a particular employee, no myself, was spending a little too much tiem on the web. I was tasked with finding how much time and where they were going. Simple enough, right? Well, I had to do it on the “down low” and without sitting at their computer. Enter, Webhistorian, by Mandiant. This utility let me grab history files and arrange them into a nice, easy-to-read report that told me where, when and how long my intended target was spending time on the web. That combined with a drive mapped to the administrative share on his computer showed… That he was actually relatively innocent. Yeah, he went to some sports websites, but only first thing in the morning and at lunchtime. Nothing worth firing him over, at any rate.

Next, there was a more, um, general security question. And, okay, it wasn’t actually at work, but it’s good to know for work. A friend thought her computer might have been inadvertantly used in the comission of a crime by a “guest” and asked me to check it out. I can’t go into details because of pending legal action, but I decided to let her take it to the proper authorities first, in case I were to mess up any evidence. Once they’re satisfied, however, I’ll take a look at it. And, thanks to another blog I read, I’ll be using something called Helix.
I have read the aforementioned blog, A Day In The Life Of An Information Security Officer, for, well, years, actually. Mostly, it’s just an interesting diversion, but sometimes, I get good ideas from the posts and case files. This time, the new tool came from the comment section. Helix was suggested by another faithful reader. It’s a bootable, “live cd” Linux distribution. It’s also free, which is one of my main criteria for the tools I use.

I also had to clone a giant Windows XP disk this week. I tried a number of utilities, including Symantec’s Ghost, but it was another Linux distro that saved me. This time, I used Knoppix. Also a bootable, “live cd” distro which is available free from the Internet. I found the command by accident while searching for something else, but I also discovered there are other ways to clone a cd via Knoppix. My Google search turned up several HowTo documents. There was one on Knoppix.net’s forums, another on Linux.com and a third on Just Linux. I used the third method first, which turned out to not work so well at all. Something to do with XP and how finicky it is about hardware and booting, I suspect. So, I finally moved on to the appropriately named NTFSClone. I still had problems making it bootable, but I attribute that to the old disk running Windows XP. I hate XP. Truly. Still, I managed to have some good fun with all the different attempts. I enjoy a good intellectual challenge!

These days no one can afford to be just a “Windows Admin” or just a “Novell Admin” or, even just a “Unix admin”. We have to use the right tools to get the job done, whatever that looks like.
I’m the man behind the curtain who makes the great and powerful Oz go. If I want to outwit the flying monkeys that the Wicked Witch of the West sends after me, I’d better have a whole lot of tools in my toolbox besides my magic ruby hammer.
Even though I’m Linux certified, I don’t work with it enough for my taste, so I’ve finally gotten off my lazy butt and installed Open SuSE on two old laptops I have at the house. Again, it’s free and so were the laptops. One is an old Dell that came from an old job. The other is a Compaq that a friend gave me because he knew I’d get more use out of it than anyone who he might donate it to for the tax write-off. Either that, or I’ve become a charity. Hey, it could happen!
In any case, I’m working on expanding my toolbox, one piece at a time. And, now, you can take advantage of my tinkering to expand your own digital toolbox. Have fun with the new toys!

So, I was thumbing through my copy of The New Hacker’s Dictionary and I came across this gem:

Hanlon’s Razor /prov./

A corollary of Finagle’s Law, similar to Occam’s Razor, that reads “Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.” The derivation of the Hanlon eponym is not definitely known, but a very similar remark (“You have attributed conditions to villainy that simply result from stupidity.”) appears in “Logic of Empire”, a 1941 story by Robert A. Heinlein, who calls it the `devil theory’ of sociology. Heinlein’s popularity in the hacker culture makes plausible the supposition that `Hanlon’ is derived from `Heinlein’ by phonetic corruption. A similar epigram has been attributed to William James, but Heinlein more probably got the idea from Alfred Korzybski and other practitioners of General Semantics. Quoted here because it seems to be a particular favorite of hackers, often showing up in sig blocks, fortune cookie files and the login banners of BBS systems and commercial networks. This probably reflects the hacker’s daily experience of environments created by well-intentioned but short-sighted people. Compare Sturgeon’s Law.

Now, you might wonder why I mention this. Or, you might not, if you know me well enough. Oh, don’t misunderstand me, I do believe in evil, after a fashion, but most of the “evil” perpatrated against me is mainly stupidity and selfishness, not real, capital “E”, evil. But, then again, there are a lot of stupid, selfish people running around out there, so it does add up after a bit. Now, I’m not being mean or arrogant or anything that anyone reading this hasn’t been before either. I’m just writing it “out loud”, so to speak. I mean, you have to admit, the mass herd of humanity has gotten in your way and irritated you sometime in the past month, haven’t they? But, does that make the idiot who cut you off or called you a name on the phone or whatever “evil”? No, just an idiot.
That’s all. It just struck me as an important thought that I should share with my readers.

Advice from your Uncle Jim:
"Men of few words are the best men."
   --William Shakespeare

So, I upgraded to the latest version of WordPress not too long ago so I could test a little project of mine. Way back in the early days of blogging, when all these fancy programs were new and not so user friendly, I concieved of a beautiful way to present fiction to a large audience for free. Well, okay, me and about a million other people, but, still, I had an artistic vision. No, really! My idea was to keep a journal in the manner and style of a character from a fictional world via a blog. I saw it as a return to the roots of the novel which, in the early days, used things like journal entries and faux personal letters to tell a story. Naturally, a blog would be a perfect way to do just that.
But, as a curmudgeon and creative person who was not content to just record something in the standard calendar, I set about trying to adapt the blog I was using to a new, fictional calendar. Sadly, my first efforts met with very limited success, but, then I upgraded to the first version of WordPress and started learning a bit of PHP. It wasn’t long after that before I had a decent working plugin that would allow me to make my blog appear to be recorded in the calendar used for the Forgotten Realms setting by Wizards of the Coast, formerly TSR. It took many, many cycles of development and testing before I was satisfied, but, I finally got something that I thought was worth sharing and, then, they did a major overhaul of WordPress. So, I waited for all the bugs to get found and fixed. And, I waited and waited and waited some more for good measure. Then, a couple of weeks ago, I actually found the time to upgrade to the latest version and test my plugin again. A few minor corrections later, I had fixed all the quirks I could find and, so, without further ado, I present, for your wacky, fantasy blogging pleasure, the Dale Reckoning plugin for WordPress!

Use it in good health and enjoy! (And, yes, this is appearing almost simultaneously on my sad, little fantasy/writing blog.)

No, I’m not talking about “that time of the month”.

It’s hurricane season again. Yeah, already. I mention this because a fairly heavy tropical storm has already started up and is smacking Florida around. So, if you haven’t started thinking about how you’re going to survive this year’s hurricane season, you better start.

First of all, let’s talk business, okay? Do you have a plan yet? Better get one quick. Really quick, at this point. What are you going to do if your business gets hit? Where are you going to set up shop while you get your damaged location fixed? Who’s going to staff that temporary location? What about your data? Who’s in charge of protecting it and getting it to a secure location in the event of a disaster?
Don’t know the answer to these questions? Better figure them out in a hurry. Oh, don’t think it’ll happen to you? Check this story on Computer Business Review Online. A lot of those folks didn’t think it would happen to them, either.
Need help with the questions? Oh, yeah, those few, little questions I fired off are just the start. This article on Continuity Central has all those and a whole bunch more that will keep you awake at night until you answer them. It won’t write the plan for you, but it sure will let you know where the holes are in your disaster recovery plan.
Still need help? I recommend checking out SunGuard. I’ve used them, professionally, before and they’re very good at this sort of thing. Very good.
Now, what about you and your family? Considered that yet?
I remember last year when Katrina hit, followed by Rita. It was a disaster with a capital D. People were panicking and running. Gas stations ran out of gas. Grocery stores ran out of canned food and bottled water and batteries. You couldn’t buy a generator at any price. It was a real nightmare. And that was just a close call. Imagine what it would have been like if Rita had actually hit us here in Houston. Right.
So, now is the time to lay in that canned food and the water purification tablets and the batteries and candles and … Well, there’s a lot of stuff, isn’t there? Luckily, there are a lot of different lists and guides to preparing for a hurricane. All you have to do is start now, while it’s still easy. I’ve found links to do-it-yourself hurricane survival kits at Southcom, Hurricaneville, and the Tampa Bay Government website. Also, if you have pets, check out the Pet Survival Kit at the Tampa website. I like the Hurricaneville one because it’s a downloadable PDF file that includes pretty good advice about hurricanes in general and not just what stuff to get to make it through one. It offers practical advice and has good general information about tropical storms and hurricanes.

Personally, I prefer to use solar and dynamo power over batteries when I can and I have that stuff I got last year. I still need to get more canned food and, maybe, some MREs. Never did get that shotgun, either. Not to mention the gas cans or the first-aid kit. I did get a book on First Aid for Dogs though, just in case. And, maybe it’s time to get a couple decorative oil lamps, too…
Excuse me while I exorcise the latent survivalist in me. I know it seems crazy now, but when I’m sitting pretty after the next hurricane, all you Houston readers will be stopping by for coffee, since I’ll be the only one with any!
Seriously, though, folks, it’s never too early to start planning.

Advice from your Uncle Jim:
"Life lived for tomorrow will always be just a day away from being realized."
   --Leo Buscaglia

Or, why I play the lottery.

I’m not a gambler. Not really, except in the smallest ways. In fact, most of my friends will tell you that I’m all about “The Sure Thing“. Whenever possible, I line things up so that I cannot miss. But, every once in a while, I play the lottery. Why?
Well, I stopped for quite some time, especially during my divorce, because I didn’t want to share with my now, thankfully, ex-wife. I suppose that sounds bitter, but, it’s really how I felt. Then, after that was all over, I started again, because to win and get that kind of money would be the most delicious irony. Still, that’s not the reason I play.
And, yes, I know the odds are against me. In fact, the odds of winning are 47,784,352 to 1. It’s not that I really think I have a chance, a real chance, at winning. In fact, I have heard the joke that the Lottery is tax on people who don’t understand mathmatics or statistics, which is partially me. I don’t do well with math, but stats was always good for me. Besides, the jackpot is  $16 Million tonight.  That buys a lot of books and ramen noodles!  I’ve also joked that what I was doing was giving the Almighty a chance to change my life.

Ever heard the old joke about the guy praying to God about winning the lottery? He says, “God, why is it, in all your wisdom and power that you never let me win the lottery?” The clouds part and a golden light shines down on the man and a deep, booming voice says, “You’ve got to meet me halfway. You need to buy a ticket!” So, in a way, buying that ticket gives God, or Fate, or whatever you want to call it, a chance to change my life. But, that’s not why I do it either.

I buy that ticket to dream. For a dollar, I get a set of random numbers that let me dream about all the ways I’d use that money. The things I’d get for people, the good I could do, the fun I could have. For a measly dollar, I get to cast wide my net of hope and gather in just a few good thoughts and feelings about the world and the possibilities it holds. For just a few minutes, I get think about all the things that might be, if only…
I play the lottery, because, for the price of a dollar, I get to buy hope.